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Jeremy Corbyn - The W1nners' Club

Jeremy Corbyn – new album features a duet with Stormzy


Jeremy Corbyn has lambasted the organisers of Glastonbury Music Festival for placing the bands on zero hours contracts.


The Labour leader appeared on stage at last month’s event to perform tracks from his new album entitled: “UK Grime Minister,” whilst taking the opportunity to speak about employment rights for multi-millionaire international rock stars.

Mr. Corbyn’s principle beatmaker and hype M.C. Seumas Milne said, “Most of the bands that performed at Glastonbury this year were only paid for turning up to play at the festival. The organisers said that it’s fairly standard practice to only pay the artists for a single performance but in our opinion the likes of Ed Sheeran and the Foo Fighters shouldn’t have to struggle to get by on a paltry one-off payment. It would be far more equitable to pay the bands on a per-song basis – okay maybe not the Foo Fighters because they’ve released about 27,000 albums, but everyone else definitely.”

Acclaimed artists such as Radiohead and Liam Gallagher had travelled to Somerset and were told that they would be allowed to perform a selection of tracks from across their entire repertoire, but due to the ‘unusually dry weather,’ both acts only performed for about an hour and Liam Gallagher in particular suffered the humiliation of having to sing Oasis tracks without his brother Noel appearing on guitar.

In a video filmed by The W1nners’ Club, a supervisor is heard telling Craig David who was obstructing vehicles in protest at having to leave the stage, that he should be grateful that he was ever even offered a recording contract.

“Jeremy and the Labour Party have taken a very strong stand against the use of zero-hours contracts for pop stars. The next time we are in government we will ban them but until then you might as well just download Jeremy’s new album which is available exclusively to Tidal app users for a limited period,” Mr. Milne added.


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