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Great Barrier Reef - The W1nners' Club

Great Barrier Reef – offering interest free overdrafts up to £300

 

The Great Barrier Reef is to be afforded the same financial status as high street banks after being valued at $42bn.

 

The reef contributes significantly to the local economy and supports over 64,000 jobs so should be deemed too big to fail like many of the high street banks were during the 2008 financial crisis according to experts.

Australia’s Head of High Street Banking Mrs. Debbi T. Card said, “If you think about it properly, The Great Barrier Reef has existed for considerably longer than Australia has, It’s a complex system that many living creatures depend on for their daily existence and assuming it’s possible – Russian gangsters would quite happily use it as a place to hide the cash they’ve made from the tax authorities. It is on this basis therefore that we think The Great Barrier Reef should be given the same status as any other high street bank. I mean, seriously – how much more money do you think you would have lost by throwing your life savings into the Coral Sea back in 2008 than sticking it in a Northern Rock Savings account?……..exactly!”

Using complex economic modelling, experts have calculated the reef is worth $29bn to tourism and $3.2bn to recreational visitors such as divers who may yet prove invaluable in terms of helping people to deposit their money going forward.

The recent study confirms that The Great Barrier Reef has incredible brand value as a result its strong international reputation and ability to create jobs – senior executives at RBS have as a result been observing the reef closely to assess exactly what it takes to run a legacy institution without destroying its heritage or reducing its value to a big fat zero.

“More should be done to protect the reef, which has been hit by mass coral bleaching events recently. At least if we give it the same status as a bank we know for sure that something will be done to protect it. As a world heritage listed and priceless global treasure site I guess it just isn’t important enough,” Mrs. Card added.

 

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