HM Revenue and customs has said that the global cyberattack is not a good enough excuse for people that have not yet filed their tax returns.
The cyber attack that affected companies around the world may have started via corrupted updates on a piece of accountancy software and notorious late payers to the taxman haven’t missed a trick in blaming their fiscal frivolity on the recent disruptions.
HMRC’s Head of Late Payments Mrs. Dee Duction said, “You wouldn’t believe how many people have been trying it on with their tax returns ever since it was announced that the global cyber attack may have originated from a piece of Ukranian tax-filing software. The old, ‘dog ate all my receipts’ excuse has been well and truly cast to the annals of history and everybody now seems to think they can give us any old bollocks as the reason why they haven’t paid their taxes.”
The cyber-attack has infected companies in 64 countries, but HMRC is particularly concerned by what people believe they can now get away with in terms of deductions simply because a few accountants’ PCs have been suffering from the computer version of ‘man flu.’
For example: A farmer in South Wales tried to write off the food and veterinary expenses for his ‘guard dog,’ that was in fact a pet hamster. A woman from Leighton Buzzard tried to deduct her gambling losses by claiming them as donations to charity and another woman attempted to declare her children as dependents in order to receive the associated tax break even though she had a hysterectomy over 20 years ago.
“All this trying to fiddle your taxes because you believe we’ve lost everybody’s data isn’t going to wash. Here at HMRC we’ve got two abacuses and a very simple rule – if they’re not dead – tax ‘em and if they are dead – tax ‘em a bit more,” Mrs. Duction added.