London’s FTSE 100 was nearly 1% down during morning trading as investors reacted nervously when Kim Jong Un claimed that his dad could beat up Donald Trump’s dad.
The jitters came as Pyongyang said that it’s former leader Kim Jong Il could easily beat Donald Trump’s father in an arm wrestle if either of the men were still alive today – a comment that caused the US President to react with fire and fury by stating that such an act of aggression would have caused his father to almost certainly give the former North Korean dictator a wedgie in response.
The London Stock Market’s Chief Economic Analyst Mr. Stockson Shares said, “As long as both Trump and Kim Jong Un keep making feints against each other and neither takes military action, the markets should be able to correct themselves. So far this week we’ve had Kim Jong Un attempting to spread rumours about America by saying that his father gave Ronald Regan a Chinese burn at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics and Mr. Trump duly responding by issuing a statement claiming Kim Jong Un’s mother is so fat that if she sat on Walmart the prices would fall. It’s all getting really quite nasty.”
The markets have tended to shrug off North Korea’s sabre-rattling in the past, dismissing them as mere bluster, but the latest insults traded have been so severe that Japan’s Nikkei fell by more than 1% overnight while South Korea’s shares also slipped.
Mr. Trump has taken to Twitter and further compounded the crisis by referring to the North Korean leader as a “butt-munching, dick-polishing, derr-brained, lame-o,” an insult that drew a response of, “I know you are, I said you are, but what am I?” from the North Koreans.
“Both countries know that there is no turning back once they push the button and launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike, but that will more than likely depend on whether they start taking the piss out of each other’s haircuts or not,” Mr. Shares added.