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salary - The W1nners' Club

FTSE 100 CEOs – Things ain’t what they used to be!


FTSE 100 CEOs have expressed shock and dismay upon finding out they have to work a whole 160 minutes to earn the average worker’s salary.


The Office for National Statistics says that average annual earnings for full-time employees in the year to April 2016 was £28,000 meaning the bosses of Britain’s top stock market-listed companies have to work for at least a couple of hours to have a hope in hell of earning this amount.

FTSE 100 boss Mr. Ivor Fortune said, “We need to introduce a fairer ratio between executive and average pay. We all know we live in a very unequal society – but these figures really bring home the scandalous gulf between rich and the rest. The fact that I have to work more than 2 ½  hours before earning the same salary as the majority of my subordinates is quite frankly disgusting. How am I ever going to be able to afford another Duck moat?”

The pay of FTSE 100 CEOs fell 17% last year to an average of £4.5 million meaning some of the heads of Britain’s 100 top companies may be forced to travel to this year’s Monaco Grand Prix in a private helicopter rather than by Lear jet.

The U.K. government has announced that it will present new proposals for executive pay in September and may insist that the amount of time that FTSE 100 CEOs have to work before reaching the same annual average as ordinary workers be greatly reduced to a more morally acceptable amount.

“As things stand at the moment, I have to sit there after being at work for an hour knowing that i’ve only earned half of what the I.T. bloke will make in an entire year. When I see the smug looks on some of my worker’s faces as they say good morning and hold the door open for me knowing that it’ll be a good 40 minutes until I make their annual salary – it’s incredibly dehumanizing and to make matters worse this happens on a daily basis,” Mr. Fortune added.


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