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Eurostar - The W1nners' Club

Eurostar – even the trains look a bit stoned….


Eurostar has announced that it will be launching a new ‘weed special’ service between London and Amsterdam in a bid to compete with airlines for the lucrative cannabis smoking demographic.


The service will allow passengers to travel from St Pancras station in central London, direct to the Netherlands in three to four hours, meaning pot heads could find that they experience their first ‘whitey’ whilst travelling through the Belgian countryside just after the train has left Antwerp station.

Eurostar’s Head of Rizla Papers and Bong Water Mrs. Phyllis Blunt said, “People have been travelling to Amsterdam from the UK for generations to get stoned, so rather than let the airlines and ferry companies have all the fun, we decided to put on our own version of the specially chartered ‘football special’ trains that were prevalent in the 1970s and 1980s to cope with all the hooliganism that was around at the time. Obviously carrying a train load of dope heads to their spiritual ‘Mecca,’ in Amsterdam won’t be anything like carting a train load of football thugs about because most of them will be asleep for the majority of the journey.”

More than 4 million passengers a year fly between London and Amsterdam, making it one of Europe’s busiest air routes as more and more young people get introduced to the music of Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa at a much earlier age meaning a significant proportion will have learnt how to roll their first spliff before learning their times tables.

The continental train operator will also be making alterations to its Café Métropole, bar buffet menu with the usual breakfast which includes a selection of pastries, yoghurt, juice and fresh tea or coffee being replaced by Dairylea Lunchables, Rice Krispies Treats, Doritos with Salsa Dip and a fully functioning Slush Puppie Machine.

“Passengers travelling from Amsterdam will have to connect through Brussels until the British and Dutch governments complete an agreement allowing passport checks to be conducted at smoking cafés as a result of the amount of passengers that will inevitably forget their passports due to still being completely off their tits,” Mrs. Blunt added.


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