stag and hen parties - The w1nners' Club

UK stag and hen parties may be used as a makeweight in Brexit negotiations

 

In the wake of the UK’s decision to leave the EU, many European countries have been hoping for fewer British stag and hen parties visiting them as the pound continues to decrease in value.

 

In the first quarter of 2017 however, the numbers travelling abroad from the UK rose 3 per cent from the same period in 2016 meaning UK stag and hen parties are unlikely to stop causing mayhem on the continent any time soon.

The head of the EU’s Joint Management Committee for UK Stag and Hen Parties Mr. Clay Pidgeon-Shooting said, “We had hoped the depreciation of the pound would lead to a slowdown in the number of British stag and hen parties visiting the European mainland, but unfortunately British revellers don’t seem to care how much it costs to wander round a European city chanting football songs wearing a Mankini. The EU will therefore be pushing for greater controls on the numbers in return for continued access to the single market, or a steamy evening with Jean Claude Juncker’s wife – anything! PLEASE!”

The EU is proposing a UK stag and Hen party tax that will see Westminster foot the bill for the amount of brawls that take place in European nightclubs, the amount of vomit that gets thrown up over sacred European city monuments and the number of men’s bottoms that get pinched by hordes of randy hen party revellers on a weekend away in Lisbon.

Tourism accounts for 5 percent of the gross domestic product of the EU, although many countries are happy to forgo the lion’s share of this in return for not having to hear chants of, ‘You’re going home in a Yorkshire ambulance!’ at 4 o’clock in the morning over a bank holiday weekend.

“One of the main factors for tourist numbers is the exchange rate. It’s now more expensive for the British to visit the euro zone but no one seems to care. Perhaps if we put up the price of alcohol and prostitutes we might see a reduction in the numbers but I very much doubt it,” Mr. Pidgeon-Shooting added.

 

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