Two Easyjet passengers were removed from an overbooked flight and not offered compensation after being told, “If you want a guaranteed seat on a plane – you’ll have to join the RAF!”
The British couple were due to fly from Luton Airport to Catania in Sicily but were asked to leave the plane by staff because it had been overbooked.
Easyjet’s Head of Ticket Sales Mr. Phil Capacity said, “Do you honestly believe that when we say we’ll fly you to Barcelona for £15 return that we’ve actually got any intention of flying you to Barcelona? The only reason we’re able to offer tickets for sale at that price is because the seats don’t actually exist. If you want a guaranteed seat on an aircraft, I suggest you go back in time to the Battle of Britain and do your bit for the war effort by preventing German bombers from blitzing London – there’s always room for one more in a dog fight over the Kent countryside you know!”
Easyjet said the passengers in question should not have been cleared to board given the fact there have been more verified sightings of the Loch Ness Monster in recent years than an aeroplane with enough seats available for everyone that has bought a ticket.
The incident followed the forcible removal of a passenger last Sunday from a United Airlines flight that had also been overbooked, although in this case Easyjet says staff only had to raise one eyebrow and shake their fists before the panic-stricken customers ran to the exit doors in fear of suffering a broken nose and losing two front teeth.
“The only passengers that are guaranteed seats on a commercial flight are illegal immigrants being repatriated to their country of origin; everyone else is subject to the same purchase lottery that airline passengers everywhere face. In that respect buying an airline ticket is a bit like joining a Pyramid Marketing Scheme – but with less respect for consumer protection rules,” Mr. Capacity added.