Donald Trump has disbanded his business advisory think tank after a number of CEOs quit when he refused to watch television in full colour for fear of upsetting white supremacists.
The executives in question found it nigh on impossible to analyse stock and share prices on CNN and Bloomberg, because the President insisted on turning the colour down to its lowest setting on the Oval office television set in an attempt to appease his neo-Nazi support base.
The White House Cabinet Officer in charge of Remote Control TV settings Mrs. Cath Oderay said, “Whilst the President fully appreciates that it’s almost impossible to analyse any of the business data on Ceefax if you can’t make out any colours on the screen, the people that actually voted him into office get overcome with a violent nausea when they see different shades working together to create a beautiful and harmonious result. The President has therefore disbanded his business advisory council because people who refuse to watch a black and white television are doing nothing more than grandstanding. Thank you all.”
Before the announcement was made by The White House, the business advisory council was haemorrhaging CEOs who were appalled by Mr. Trump’s refusal to put even a bit of colour on the screen so that at least the daily weather forecast would start to make a bit of sense.
Mr. Trump’s CEO exodus began when Kenneth Frazier, the CEO of pharmaceutical giant Merck and one of the US’s most high-profile African American executives, was caught in the toilets of The White House reading a copy of the latest crop report in the Wall Street Journal, a publication that produces its own full colour magazine supplement every week.
“Mr. Trump has stated that he thinks there is blame on both sides. The part of the US constitution that says all men are created equal was written in black and white yet somewhere along the way everybody started insisting on everything being in full colour. The President has said that there needs to be a compromise where only a few different colours get used like in the Confederate flag design or the Swastika,” Mrs. Oderay added.