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Crying - The W1nners' Club

Christmas adverts – expected to generate more tears this year than chopping onions…

 

The amount of crying generated by Christmas adverts is set to hit record levels this year according to an industry trade body.

 

The Advertising Association says the likelihood of someone bursting into tears whilst watching the latest Christmas advert by one of the major retailers such as John Lewis, M&S and Asda has jumped nearly 40% in just seven years.

The Advertising Association’s Head of Tears, Mucus and Saliva Mr. Hank Erchief said, “There have been so many blockbuster campaigns over the last 10 years that some people are still in tears about the Christmas advert they watched several years ago. John Lewis have been particularly merciless over the past decade by releasing that Bear and the Hare ad which was apparently responsible for over 30% of all the tears shed in 2013. Then in 2014 Sainsburys copied that Paul McCartney music video with their Christmas advert about the World War I football match between England and Germany and now this year M&S have decided to use a foul-mouthed burglar to get us emotional – it’s all getting a bit much.”

Of the reasons given in a recent survey of 1000 Brits as to why they have burst into tears over the past 12 months, over 80% said that it was a direct result of one of the Christmas adverts they had seen, with the remainder either admitting to being pathological liars or embarrassed at being laughed at by the survey’s data insight team.

Prime Minister Theresa May has instructed the government body responsible for national outpourings of emotion to conduct a judicial review into why watching the latest John Lewis advert is now more likely to bring people to tears than watching the England team getting knocked out of yet another major football tournament on penalties.

“Statistically speaking, the average person is more likely to bust into tears watching a Christmas advert than they would if their favourite pet canary had just met an untimely end at the hands of their next door neighbour’s cat. Such a vast monopoly on crying may need to be regulated by government legislation going forward,” Mr. Erchief added.

 

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