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ice cubes - The W1nners' club

Ice cubes – luckily don’t retain their shape for too long in a warm environment…..


Major high street coffee chains will begin conducting cavity searches on staff after ice cubes at various locations have been found to contain the bacteria from faeces.


Samples of iced drinks from Costa Coffee, Starbucks and Caffe Nero contained varying levels of the bacteria, but luckily it doesn’t take a genius to work out how it got there.

Environmental Health Expert Mr. Andy Septic said, “These bacteria should not be present at any level – never mind the significant numbers found. With the recent hot weather that we’ve been experiencing, it’s quite clear that coffee shop staff have had to take extreme measures in an attempt to keep cool whilst working. I can imagine it gets very hot serving up cappuccinos all day in the sweltering heat, but staff should request a short break outside rather than taking such drastic action. I for one won’t ever be ordering an iced mocha in the middle of summer that’s for sure.”

At both Starbucks and Caffe Nero, three out of 10 ice samples tested contained the bacteria known as faecal coliforms, but the outright winner in terms of staff having to resort to colonic refrigeration was Costa, where Seven out of 10 samples were found to be contaminated.

All three chains say that they have updated their ice-handling guidelines and will be conducting daily cavity searches on staff that don’t look like they’re about to drop dead from heat exhaustion in hot weather.

The problem has apparently got so bad at Starbucks that customers have been ordering cappuccino frappes and then giving someone else’s name to the barista in an attempt to stitch up their mates.

“The revelations are quite concerning and we hope that the coffee chains in question will assist us in conducting a thorough investigation,” Mr. Septic added whilst putting on a pair of latex surgical gloves.


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