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British Fizz - The W1nners' Club

British Fizz – 50 years ago it didn’t require a name

 

The United Kingdom Vineyard Association have finally decided upon a name for British Fizz after debating the issue at meetings for over 50 years.

 

The issue of what to name British Sparkling Wine was raised at the first ever Vineyard Association gathering over five decades ago and members have been squabbling over the matter ever since.

UK Vineyard Association Chairman Mr. Gilbert Grape said, “We’ve finally done it. We’ve finally agreed on a name for British Fizz. It was quite a poignant moment because everyone had just finished their tea and digestives when some bright spark had a eureka moment and suggested that as British Fizz is both British and Fizzy, why not be a bit daring and radical by calling it British Fizz? Genius!”

Vineyard Association meetings have been typically stormy affairs over the last 50 years as some of the finest minds in provincial England have gathered once a week on a Tuesday night at Upper Buckleby village hall to thrash out what has proven to be one of the more challenging issues hanging over the heads of people that give a shit about winemaking.

“I’m glad we got there in the end,” said Mr. Grape. “There have been deaths, divorces and at least three illegitimate children born as a result of sordid affairs with the local vicar, but we finally agreed upon a name for British Fizz.  No doubt we’ll probably spend the next 50 years deciding what we should all do on a Tuesday night now that we no longer have to try and come up with a name for British Fizz.”

There are some in the British wine industry (mainly those that were not present at the final vote) that think the name, ‘British Fizz,’ may cause confusion, although it’s hard to see how anyone would confuse a drink called British Fizz with a pint of Guinness for example.

Over the years other suggestions have come close to being ratified like, ‘British Sparkling,’ ‘Wine from Great Britain,’ and ‘Britfizz,’ but the Vineyard Association collectively felt after much disagreement that none of the above adequately capture the true spirit of British Sparkling Wine – which incidentally is a name no one came up with at any point over the last five decades.

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