The government has confirmed that Brexit still means Brexit, but the new Brexit may appear to resemble something completely different to what one would immediately recognise as being Brexit.
As talks on the issue of the Northern Irish border with the Republic of Ireland stalled once again, the government is keen to reassure voters that Brexit is still the same old Brexit, it just looks like something completely different to the original Brexit.
The UK Government’s Head of Brexit Realignment Mr. Ruel N. Regulation said, “the new Brexit will still contain all the same letters, but we may have to re-arrange them into a different order. The DUP have already stated categorically that they will only accept either a spelling of Brexit, or Bertix – whilst Nicola Sturgeon has said on social media that spelling it Bixter would better reflect the interests of Scottish voters, whilst Welsh First Minister Carwyn Jones said that if Brexit is to be re-spelt, Bxtrie is the best way of spelling the word to make it look a bit Welsh.”
People that voted remain in the EU referendum have been vociferous in calling for a complete reversal of Brexit, which would mean it would have to be spelt Tixerb, but this spelling is said to have angered leave voters who say that it looks a bit like German.
Blind voters have already ruled out trbxei as a potential spelling because this would not translate easily into braille, whilst the fishing industry and the Navy have agreed to form an alliance to pressure the government into making sure that any new spelling of Brexit is optimised for morse code.
“It’s all descending into a bit of a shambles if I’m to be truly honest with you. We can’t even agree on an alternative word for ‘biscuit’ to use during tea breaks at the talks because at the moment Jean-Clude Juncker is adamant that the word ‘biscuit’ sounds a bit like ‘Brexit’ so everytime someone offers him a milk chocolate digestive, he thinks this is a cynical attempt to force through a hard border between Northern Ireland and the Republic,” Mr. Regulation added.