football - The W1nners' Club

Armchair Football fans – finally get to crawl out from the back of the net

 

Armchair football fans and glory hunters across the world rejoiced today as a new digital platform was launched to cater for their needs.

 

27 leading clubs such as Manchester City, FC Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Juventus, have come together to create dugout.com which offers original, behind-the-scenes content and relieves fans of the tiresome burden of supporting a single club.

Dugout’s head of dilettante supporter engagement Mr. Stanley Accrington said, “recent surveys have shown us that no one supports a single club anymore. You have the team you’re supposed to support under the old rules and the team you support so you can engage in office banter without being the butt of all the jokes on a Monday morning after your, ‘proper,’ club has been spanked 12-0 by Swindon Town.”

Football fans were polled worldwide to get a greater understanding of their habits and the results showed the average follower supports 4.6 clubs, as well as Leo Messi’s right foot and Olivier Giroud’s latest beard incarnation.

Dugout has been designed with a highly customisable set up to allow fans that currently support a team that is having a bad run of form, to simply switch their support to another club until their original club gets into the last 8 of the F.A. Cup, or surprisingly wins the Premier League against all rational expectation.

“What we’re providing here is freedom. Rather than waiting for the pain of St. Totteringham’s day every year, a Spurs fan could support Arsenal for the last month of the season and avoid being abused by the watercooler at work. Similarly, an Arsenal fan could switch their allegiance when it comes to the embarrassment of the transfer window and a Chelsea fan could simply switch every time their manager gets sacked for winning the Champions’ league,” said Mr Accrington.

The rise of social media and international TV rights means there is little escape from unfavourable banter when your team embarrasses you these days and the Dugout gives those supporters that would’ve supported Manchester United when Alex Ferguson was in charge, an opportunity to shamelessly seek  glory elsewhere.

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