Robot Wars - The W1nners' Club

Robot Wars – The Amazon Shopping bot won the latest head-to-head against Walmart’s ‘Creeper’ 

 

The Amazon shopping bot has defeated machines built by other retailers so convincingly that it has been invited to appear on the next series of robot wars.

 

Walmart and many other retailers use automated software that’s intended to look like an authentic web surfer to the site being scanned, but Amazon blocked Walmart’s bots from spying on its online prices by using a specially mounted ramming spike and a rear grinding disc.

Amazon’s Head of Extreme Robot Combat Mr. Craig Charles said, “Because we have the lowest prices and the largest selection of products, many other retailers use computer programs that scan the prices on our website so they can adjust their listings accordingly. We have therefore upgraded our bots so that they can block these programs using a magnesium circular saw which spins at approximately 210 mph.”

Earlier this year, engineers at Wal-Mart Stores attempted to defeat the Amazon shopping bot using a cost-cutter, a tried and tested device that has often been used in online retail combat and can inflict heavy damage on an opponent in the short term providing you’re able to afford the cost of using it for a sustained period.

Amazon’s technological prowess has enabled their shopping bot to defeat the Walmart bot on several occasions, with one encounter putting Walmart’s machine out of action for several weeks after it was struck with a titanium tipped axe and got seared by a propane fuelled flamethrower.

“Our bots have won so many skirmishes recently that we’ve been invited onto the next series of Robot Wars. It remains to be seen whether we can make sufficient upgrades to go up against the likes of Sir Killalot or Matilda, but at least we’ll get to see Philippa Forrester in the flesh – phwoar!” Mr Charles added.

 

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