An Airbus A380 Superjumbo has been retired from service but due to its sheer size will be repurposed and used as a French airport instead.
Singapore Airlines returned the plane to its leasing company where it will be kitted out with a Sunglasses Hut, a branch of Tie Rack, several champagne bars and extortionately priced parking facilities before it is rebranded as the new Tarbes Lourdes Pyrénées airport.
Airbus’s Head of Overdoing It When It Comes To Building Massive Aircraft Mr. Hugh G. Wingspan said, “It’s fair to say that when we first designed the Airbus A380 we focused heavily on the size of the aircraft and didn’t really pay much attention to getting the bloody thing airborne. What we ended up with wasn’t an aircraft but Noah’s Ark with wings. If there was ever another great flood, you could get all the animals on board two-by-two and still have enough room in first class for David Attenborough to do a documentary about the migratory habits of the African water buffalo in their natural habitat. That plane should never have been flown to different destinations around the world – it is the f*cking destination!”
Emirates owns a fleet of 100 A380s and is one of the few carriers that has been able to leverage the maximum value out of the four-engine superjumbo by using them as blueprints when they first constructed the Palm Islands off the coast of Dubai.
British Airways has 12 of them in its fleet of 270 aircraft and the UK carrier says it may order another to be used as a replacement for the Outer Hebrides if another Scottish referendum ends up going the same way as Brexit.
“They say that size doesn’t matter but when you’re dealing with aircraft it’s a bit of a problem when the plane is bigger than the airport you’re trying to take off from. The A380 is so big that rather than take off from Heathrow, it would make more sense to attach its engines to Heathrow and try to take off using the plane’s wings as a runway,” Mr. Wingspan added.