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funny fire exit - The W1nners' Club

We are constantly trying to improve the level of service we provide, and ask that you take a minute to tell us how we are doing and what we can do to improve.

How happy are you with the job we have just completed?  (1 = delighted – 5 = very unhappy)
1 2 3 4 5√
How happy are you with our overall performance since we started working with you?
1 2 3 4 5√


I have given the scores above because:
………because? It’s a great word ‘because’ because it doesn’t actually mean anything. It simply allows the person using it to imply that they are completely unaware of the whopping great balls up they have just committed whilst attempting to make ‘security improvements’ to your office. When we recruited your company’s services, the brief was to make our fire exit more secure because we have had a succession of break-ins, with interlopers using the dodgy lock on our fire exit to gain access to the building. What we didn’t ask for was to be hermetically sealed into the f*cking building. What the hell are we going to do now if there’s a fire? The only chance we have of escaping is by hoping the burglars that keep breaking in also do a neat side line in building demolition work! Whilst you’re not strictly speaking in breach of the contract per se because the fire exit is admittedly, more ‘secure,’ we do think you have executed the job brief far too literally. (see picture attached).
You could make me even happier by:
Removing the bricks and putting the old fire door back! At least being broken into every week won’t put us in breach of the fire safety regulations to such a large degree!
Any other comments:

I’d like to see what you’d do if someone needed a new perimeter wall. No doubt you’d construct it out of fire exit doors!



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