I am writing to tell you that you are required to attend a disciplinary meeting on Monday at 9am which is to be held in my office.
At this meeting the question of disciplinary action against you, in accordance with the Company Disciplinary Procedure, will be considered with regard to:
Hiding in the cupboards of customers after the rest of us have already packed up and left to go home when a job has been completed.
I enclose the following documents*:
(See picture attached)
The possible consequences arising from this meeting might be:
A written warning, possible dismissal and/or your probation officer being notified.
You are entitled, if you wish, to be accompanied by another work colleague or a trade union representative.
PS – I am fully aware that your bail conditions include not being allowed to climb inside kitchen units to do whatever it is that somebody who was previously known in the media as ‘the kitchen weirdo’ did before arrest. I must remind you that in order to be granted full release from prison, you will be required to show that you have been rehabilitated and have been cured of your previous afflictions.