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letter bomb - The W1nners' Club

 

At certain points in your working life you are going to have to deal with suppliers that you don’t see eye-to-eye with. Disagreements can arise in a myriad of ways. A failed negotiation where one of you has insulted a member of the others’ family is one such common example. Your supplier may just be a little bit up him or herself and has decided they can’t be bothered to work with you. Alternatively, you may have offered a contract to one of your supplier’s competitors. Whatever the reason for the fall out, you need to be prepared for any act of revenge that may be dished out in your direction.

Amongst the many ways a disgruntled supplier may decide to make an example of you, a letter bomb sent through the post is one of the more preventable tactics you can defend yourself against. Here’s what you need to look out for to ensure you don’t fall foul of your supplier’s psychotic and murderous behaviour:

  1. You receive a package from your supplier knowing full well you told him or her to, ‘fuck off and die,’ on the phone last week.
  2. The supplier is based in either North Korea, Iraq, Russia or Syria.
  3. The postage stamp is written in an alphabet that isn’t the same as yours.
  4. A personal signature is required upon delivery.
  5. The package is addressed to you but your name is underlined (this shows you just how much the sender wants to ensure you open it first).
  6. The package smells strange – look out for pungent aromas or almond-like scents.
  7. The envelope is covered in stains of an oily nature.
  8. There is no return address (for obvious reasons).
  9. The envelope is of a, ‘do not bend,’ rigid design.
  10. The package looks particularly large at one end.
  11. The package is heavier than you would normally expect.
  12. The supplier rang you this morning and burst out laughing maniacally down the phone before hanging up.

 

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