Depending on which football team you support, you are either a person that consistently loses bets with colleagues at work or somebody that always wins them.
Manchester United fans for example, have consistently been so assured of their team winning an office banter duel over the last few decades that the opposing person might as well have simply handed their money over before a bet was even agreed (this is true up until 2013 at least).
We all like to show our support by backing our respective football clubs regardless of the likely outcome. Earning a few pounds of a co-workers’ hard earned salary as well as basking in the moral glow of victory can go a long way towards helping to cure the Monday morning blues.
Is this enough however?
Are you really showing true fan loyalty by betting £5 with a colleague that your favourite team might (but probably won’t) get past the 3rd round of the league cup this season?
In our opinion, true football super fans in the office should be prepared to risk a bit more. You should be prepared to demonstrate your love for the badge beyond simply buying a drink for the guy or girl that sits on the table opposite you at work.
If you really love your football team, you should allow the person betting against you to decide what clothes you will have to wear into work for an entire week. They should even be allowed to buy the clothes for you and send you the bill.
There might be some sense in being a football glory hunter after all………
It’s not that we don’t think Crocs are a revolutionary advancement in footwear innovation, but their design is styled on that of a pair of clogs and we know for a fact that you wouldn’t wear a pair of clogs into work every day. If you really want to punish a co-worker for daring to bet against your team in the local derby, insist they wear a pair of Crocs into work as punishment – for a whole week!
2. Paisley print socks
…………preferably in a colour that will clash with the Crocs that your colleague will be wearing. The numerous holes dotted along the upper will ensure that there’s no hiding place for the iconic design that should never really be worn without at least a mild hint of irony.
They won’t actually be seen by anyone else in the office, but forcing your office football nemesis to wear Y-fronts in defeat will render your success all the sweeter. Just think, every time they visit the loo they will be reminded of your team annihilating theirs. Make sure you remember to buy them a set of five for hygiene reasons or it could be a very long week indeed!
4. Corduroy trousers
We acknowledge the unique position corduroy fabric occupies in sartorial folklore, but unless you’re a graphic designer or a secondary school geography teacher, corduroy at work is a massive no-no. What better way to stake your claim on the dignity of a workmate for even insinuating that your team wouldn’t beat theirs at the weekend, than by making them wear corduroy trousers for a week. Yes – that includes the girls as well!
5. Hawaiian shirt
Great for Instagram snaps taken at a full moon party in Thailand, but a completely unsuitable item for wearing in the workplace. Your job this week is to inflict some sartorial sadism so what better way to express your disdain for the conquered than by forcing a colleague to wear a Hawaiian shirt for 5 days. Just think – one goal from Adam Lalalana and your colleague might have to don some Tropicana!
6. Bow tie
Preferably a spinning one, but if not, one that is loud and wacky will suffice. Bow ties are only really worn by nightclub bouncers that work at 80s wine bars, so it will be a nice addition to the other items they will have to wear.
7. Tank top
Not just any tank top – it needs to be one that wouldn’t look out of place hugging the midriff of a bowler in the 4th test at Lords. Trust us – alongside everything else it’ll look ridiculous on your colleague.
8. Duffle Coat
A wonderfully functional item on its own, but combined with a pair of Crocs, Paisley print socks, Y-fronts, Corduroy trousers, a Hawaiian shirt, a ridiculous bow-tie and a sleeveless cricket sweater – your colleague will look very silly indeed. Try and choose the week that he or she is scheduled to have an appraisal for extra impact if at all possible.