You’ve just been sacked………why not become a multi-billionaire philanthropist?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a multi-billionaire philanthropist?

When you get out of bed and it’s turning dark, this either means it’s the weekend and you’ve spent all day recovering from the insane evening you enjoyed last night that you can’t remember, or it means that you probably haven’t got a job. If your situation is more akin to the former scenario, we…

Features, Unemployed

You’ve just been sacked………why not create the world’s most valuable sports brand?

You’ve just been sacked………why not create the world’s most valuable sports brand?

Here is a list of household chores that most people struggle to find the time to do when they have a job, but never get around to doing when they don’t have one either because there’s other things to be getting on with like pretending to keep up with current affairs by watching daytime politics…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not create an international banking dynasty?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not create an international banking dynasty?

Monday mornings in the workplace can be particularly challenging – especially when you’ve been at a music festival all weekend and have managed to consume enough illegal narcotics to get one of your urine samples reclassified as an illegal narcotic in its own right. If you didn’t have to go in to work until Tuesday…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not set up your own budget airline?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not set up your own budget airline?

Q: How many unemployed people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: We have no idea because we would never make a joke about what can be a very stressful and dehumanizing experience in life. Nevertheless – if you do happen to find yourself no longer having to purchase a monthly travelcard to get…

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You’ve just been sacked……why not become the richest person in modern history?

You’ve just been sacked……why not become the richest person in modern history?

Here is a list of items that you will no longer be able to afford if you become suddenly unemployed: Alcohol that isn’t Frosty Jack cider. Recreational drugs. Cigarettes that don’t have a deceptively grandiose name such as Ambassador, Attaché, Diplomat, Executive or Brexit Secretary. Filter coffee. Shopping at Waitrose. A girlfriend / boyfriend. Christmas…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not dominate the world soft drinks market?

You’ve just been sacked………why not dominate the world soft drinks market?

Life can be bloody hard when your income shrinks in the same way that a man’s todger shrivels up after a dip in an outdoor swimming pool in the middle of winter. The difference between income and men’s todgers of course, is that one is required for day-to-day survival whereas the other is simply a…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not kick start the personal computer revolution?

You’ve just been sacked………why not kick start the personal computer revolution?

For most people, visiting a cashpoint is a fairly ordinary activity that causes minimum stress apart from the last few days of the month before your next salary cheque gets paid. When you don’t have a job however, visiting a cashpoint can feel a bit like the end of the world – except the world…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own nuclear bomb?

You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own nuclear bomb?

One of the great things about being unemployed is you have the time to truly indulge those ideas you have always had, but perhaps never had the chance to deploy because of work commitments. That musical instrument you wanted to learn, that book you wanted to write or that drug you wanted to try –…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not create your own Cryptocurrency?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not create your own Cryptocurrency?

Dark days lie ahead my friend. Your bank balance will soon start to resemble a telephone number – except it will have a minus in front of the number in question. Your teeth will slowly become stained by tobacco as your entire day involves nothing more than smoking roll-up cigarettes and crying loudly because it…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not build an International Space Station?

You’ve just been sacked………why not build an International Space Station?

It’s a hard knock life – not for us, but for you. It’s quite hard to get fired from a job these days, what with the advent of employment legislation. If you do something serious enough to get you the sack, you usually have ample opportunity to simply not do it again, but you have…

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