W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Country Music

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Country Music

  Dear Darcus, I absolutely adore Country music and on a Friday afternoon I will often put on my stetson hat and sing along to country FM which I deliberately play as loud as possible so everyone else in the office can join in with me. The trouble is everyone else on the team says…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My colleague has a crush on me……I think?

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My colleague has a crush on me……I think?

  Dear Darcus, I think that one of the company directors might have a crush on me. Whenever I hold the door open for her she always says thank you and if I’m in the lift with her at the same time and ask her which floor she wants, she always tells me. Do you…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Corporate spy in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Corporate spy in the office

  Dear Darcus, One of the employees on my team has started offering to buy me tea every morning and as a result I am convinced that they may be a corporate spy that is either working for a competitor, or they could be working undercover for the security services and informing on me. I…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – ‘I want to be a garbage collector!’

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – ‘I want to be a garbage collector!’

  Dear Darcus, I earn £320,000 a year before bonuses, I drive a Maserati and have a holiday home in St. Lucia. My kids both attend one of the country’s most prestigious public schools and whilst I’m extremely proud of my success, I’ve always wanted to be a garbage collector. There’s something about being in…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Hiring Illegal Immigrants

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Hiring Illegal Immigrants

    Dear Darcus, As you well know the economy has been struggling of late and what with Brexit and the ever tumbling value of the pound, running a business can be a bit like painting the Forth Bridge these days in terms of achieving your targets. As a result, I have started to recruit…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

  Dear Darcus, I am the sales manager of a car dealership. I am married with three kids but I have recently started having an affair with one of the Vauxhall Astras in the showroom. I think my condition is known as mechaphilia but I can honestly say that we are truly happy and are…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page: Committing Acts of Violence On Staff Members

W1nners’ Club Problem Page: Committing Acts of Violence On Staff Members

  Dear Darcus, I have noticed that recently I have had lots of extremely dark fantasies about hitting members of my team. Whenever an employee comes to ask me a question the first thoguht that pops into my mind is how much I’d like to punch the individual in question on the nose no matter…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Going, ‘Commando,’ in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Going, ‘Commando,’ in the office

  Dear Darcus, We have just hired a new team member who is a mature lady of 55 years of age. So far her work and experience have been nothing short of a total asset to the team except for one small problem – she refuses to wear underwear during work hours. To compound matters…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Stripping all your clothes off to use the toilet

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Stripping all your clothes off to use the toilet

  Dear Darcus, One of my employees does that weird naked sh*tting thing. He’s some sort of freaky naturalist and believes that clothes somehow inhibit the pooping process so he takes them all off whenever he uses the toilet. Is this appropriate behaviour for someone that works in an office of 700 people?   Dear…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

  Dear Darcus, A new starter I have just hired was supposed to start work on Monday morning at 10am. The new employee unfortunately didn’t turn up and when we finally got hold of her later that day she said she forgot she had a new job. I decided to give her a second chance…

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