W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Colleagues are jealous of me

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Colleagues are jealous of me

  Dear Darcus, My colleagues are jealous of me because my dad owns the company, I went travelling for a year and when I came back I was given a seat on the board. Should I make their lives a living hell in revenge?   Dear Reader, It’s not what you know in life that…

Features, Problem Page , , ,

W1nners Club Problem Page – Unflushed staff toilet

W1nners Club Problem Page – Unflushed staff toilet

  Dear Darcus, I work in a small company that only has one staff toilet between six of us. Everytime I go to use the loo, there is always a steaming great log in the bowl that the person who used it beforehand has kindly left as an unsightly gift for me. I know that…

Features, Problem Page , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I think I have a crush on Mozart

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I think I have a crush on Mozart

    Dear Darcus, Ever since I started taking piano lessons, I seem to be developing a crush on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Everytime I listen to the amazing music he composed, I can’t help but picture that little powdered wig of his bobbing up and down at a piano as he bangs out his latest…

Features, Problem Page , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

  Dear Darcus, I am an IT manager from Portsmouth and recently I keep being overcome by the compulsion to behave like a wolf in the office. If someone needs a new keyboard or mouse it causes me to howl loudly and if the cloud servers need rebooting that also makes me run about on…

Features, Problem Page , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Living with your mum

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Living with your mum

    Dear Darcus, I am a 43 year old Sales manager but I still live at home with my mum. I really want to move out but I love my mum’s cooking and she does all my laundry for me plus I don’t have to pay much board. Despite earning £60,000 a year, it…

Features, Problem Page , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Having dreams about team members stealing from you

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Having dreams about team members stealing from you

  Dear Darcus, Last night I dreamt that someone on my team stole a packet of fruit pastilles from my top drawer in the office. I know it was only a dream but I can’t help feeling a bit annoyed with them at work so as a result I keep getting them to do complex…

Features, Problem Page ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – removing petrol stains from your suit

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – removing petrol stains from your suit

  Dear Darcus, After my second written warning my boss’ new Audi mysteriously caught fire in the car-park the very next day. How do I remove petrol stains from a bespoke dove-grey pinstripe wool suit?   From Angry in Cheltenham   Dear Reader, Thanks for getting in touch! Your problem is indeed a common one…

Features, Problem Page , , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I want to be an Emo

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I want to be an Emo

  Dear Darcus, I am the Managing Director of a stationery wholesaler in East Grinstead but I have secret desires to be an Emo and turn up to work looking like I don’t care about what people think of me. If I die my hair black and start wearing a dog collar with large metal spikes…

Features, Problem Page , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Constantly aroused in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Constantly aroused in the office

  Dear Darcus, I am constantly aroused in the office. I seriously think that I could hump every single one of my colleagues – guys, girls, everyone – at once! If ever somebody asks me a completely innocent question I always give them a double entendre laden answer in response. I even got into the…

Features, Problem Page , , , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Should I tell work i’m in jail?

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Should I tell work i’m in jail?

  Dear Darcus, I am the regional manager of a double glazing company but unfortunately I got arrested after trying to jump a rickshaw I had offered £200 to take me from Soho to Dartford. I thought I’d be able to get away with it but it turns out the rickshaw driver was a kung-fu…

Features, Problem Page , , ,