W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Jealous of a couple who are married in my office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Jealous of a couple who are married in my office

Dear Darcus, I am totally jealous of a couple who are married in my office. I am recently divorced and the way they fawn over each other during work hours is sickening. Do you think I should tell HR that their happiness makes me feel uncomfortable?   Dear Reader, I too am emotionally embittered. Mainly…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My morning coffee contains an alternate universe

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My morning coffee contains an alternate universe

  Dear Darcus, I am continually haunted by the idea that my usual cup of morning coffee in the office might contain an alternative mini universe. I often look at the way it swirls around when I stir it and if you look really closely, it looks a bit like those pictures of faraway galaxies…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish my staff would hate me and bully me

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish my staff would hate me and bully me

  Dear Darcus, I really wish my staff would hate me and bully me a bit. I am the founder of a tech unicorn that has recently been floated on the stock exchange and because I gave shares in the company to everyone that works here – my entire staff think I’m amazing. They always…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My Office is Haunted

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – My Office is Haunted

  Dear Darcus, I’m pretty sure that my workplace is haunted. I went back to the office late at night one evening to get something from my desk drawer and the lights all came on at once at the precise moment I entered the room. As well as this, I told some of my colleagues…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff refuse to take part in office Star Trek convention

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff refuse to take part in office Star Trek convention

  Dear Darcus, My staff have all gone on strike because I insist on having a mini Star Trek convention in the office on Friday afternoons. Whilst a lot of companies have meetings at that point of the week where beer is consumed, I have devised my own version of Klingon Blood Wine that comprises…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I worked for my competitors

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I worked for my competitors

Dear Darcus, I have recently developed the habit of sneaking into our main competitors’ sales conferences and stealing as much company literature as possible. Then, when I get home I photoshop my face onto their company photographs so that I can stare at them when i’m feeling bored at work, imagining what it would be…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t help crying in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t help crying in the office

  Dear Darcus, I can’t help crying in the office because I love being at work so much. I know it’s a bit weird, but when I see office items such as my computer monitor screen, my desk organiser, the photocopier and my computer mouse when I turn up for work every morning, I can’t…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

  Dear Darcus, I can’t stand pricing the products in my retail store at £9.99 when all I have to do is add on an extra penny and all of a sudden you get a lovely whole number price of £10. The shareholders often accuse me of putting my own peculiarities before the success of…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Still believe in Father Christmas

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Still believe in Father Christmas

  Dear Darcus, All my colleagues at work think it’s strange because I still believe in Father Christmas even though I’m the Chief Operating Officer of a large blue chip pharmaceutical company. This year I will put out some mince pies for santa and a whisky miniature so hopefully that should make him think i’ve…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Addicted to Wearing Women’s Underwear at Work

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Addicted to Wearing Women’s Underwear at Work

  Dear Darcus, I am addicted to wearing women’s underwear at work everyday. Even though I’m a 55 year old, male regional sales manager, I just feel that women’s clothes in general are more suited to who I really am rather than the crudely designed male apparel that’s available on the high streets these days….

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