Goldman Sachs slowly coming round to the idea $50bn is actually quite a lot of money

Goldman Sachs slowly coming round to the idea $50bn is actually quite a lot of money

  Goldman Sachs are slowly coming round to the idea that $50bn is actually quite a lot of money and tentatively agree you can’t simply say a company is worth that amount without it at least selling a few units of whatever it is they supply first.   The W1nners’ Club has been party to…

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Nissan claims, “Christianity will fade and go, we’re bigger than jesus now!”

Nissan claims, “Christianity will fade and go, we’re bigger than jesus now!”

  Nissan have made the bold claim they are more popular than Christianity in a shameless show of pre-brexit bravado.   The Japanese car manufacturer has recently been holding court with top officials including the Prime Minister as the government attempts to ensure the UK doesn’t lose production of its Bluebird model to an EU…

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Outrage in the BDSM community as BT phone boxes are replaced by Wi-Fi kiosks

Outrage in the BDSM community as BT phone boxes are replaced by Wi-Fi kiosks

  Britain’s BDSM community have been whipped into a frenzy as BT announce they will be removing the traditional red phone box from streets and replacing them with hi-tech wi-fi kiosks.   The new kiosks will provide Ultra-fast wi-fi, free calls and charging facilities for mobile phones but crucially, there will be nowhere on the…

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Mattel rolls out a different Barbie Doll for every audience imaginable

Mattel rolls out a different Barbie Doll for every audience imaginable

  Toy manufacturer Mattel has seen its share price soar after announcing plans to produce Barbie dolls that are relevant to every conceivable social group.   The launch of the new range follows two years of declining sales as little girls turn to dressing up as clowns and chasing terrified members of the public instead….

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The UK post-Brexit diet bears a more than striking resemblance to wartime rationing

The UK post-Brexit diet bears a more than striking resemblance to wartime rationing

  Britain’s post-Brexit diet will bear a striking resemblance to wartime rations unless the people that voted, ‘Leave,’ are forced to become agricultural labourers a leading farmer has claimed.   Mr. Harry Cobean grows over 100,000 carrots and potatoes on his farm near Huddersfield in West Yorkshire and says there aren’t enough British workers who…

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Nissan self-driving cars fail DVLA theory exam for the third time

Nissan self-driving cars fail DVLA theory exam for the third time

  UK Prime Minister Theresa May has offered additional support to Nissan in helping to get its self-driving cars to pass the DVLA theory exam. Despite requiring the IQ of a ring worm to achieve a decent mark in the test, Nissan’s vehicles have failed the driving test theory exam on no less than three…

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Unilever backs national campaign to ditch the faltering pound in favour of Marmite

Unilever backs national campaign to ditch the faltering pound in favour of Marmite

Consumer brand wholesaler Unilever last night threw its considerable weight behind a nationwide campaign to ditch the pound in favour of Marmite. The recent steep drop in the value of sterling as a result of Brexit means the cost of importing products into the UK has soared significantly and as a result, Unilever have spearheaded…

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