FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

  Company boards should justify hefty Chief Executive pay rises by forcing bosses to do a bush tucker trial in front of staff at the annual Christmas party according to business experts.   The continuing increases in pay for top executives despite often lacklustre performance has incited calls for a rethink in the way senior…

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Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

  Middle Class shoppers are replacing their weekly shopping trips to Marks and Spencer with a visit to the local food bank as shelves in the store start to resemble those from soviet-era Russia.   The retailer’s suppliers have been pulling out in their droves as the battle rages on about whether the word Brexit…

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Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

  Sports Direct have been asked to explain why they secretly filmed staff watching a hilarious video of members of parliament being secretly filmed during their lunch break.   A group of parliamentarians from the House of Commons Business Committee were covertly recorded having a meeting at the sports retailer’s Shirebrook facility in Derbyshire after…

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Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

  The makers of Toblerone made the bold claim yesterday that empty space is the new chocolate.   The gaps between the chocolate bar’s triangular segments have been widened recently as manufacturers claim the popular snack was never really about chocolate in the first place. Mondelez International’s Head of Marketing Mrs. Honey Almond said, “The…

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McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

  McDonalds is suing the Sistine Chapel for using the approximate shape of a McFlurry tub in the design for its main dome.   After several high profile spats with the Italian authorities this year over whether the fast food chain is an appropriate vendor to trade in the historic plazas of Florence and The…

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Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

  Investors and businesses are preparing for share prices to fall lower than the future social status of illegal immigrant Mexicans if Donald Trump wins the US election.   A victory by Trump is expected to send shares into freefall and most of the major trading banks will have staff on high alert this evening…

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UK exchange rate to be determined by the size of fish fingers

UK exchange rate to be determined by the size of fish fingers

  The UK’s currency exchange rate is set to be determined by the size of fish fingers because a significant proportion of the nation’s favourite tea time snack is charged in dollars.   The recent threat by Birds Eye to start offering customers pre-fried cod fillet fish fingers in packs of 10 for the price…

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Sir Philip Green to be ruthlessly pursued for the £1 he made from the sale of BHS

Sir Philip Green to be ruthlessly pursued for the £1 he made from the sale of BHS

  The pensions regulator announced yesterday that it will be ruthlessly pursuing Sir Philip Green in an effort to force him to cough up the £1 he made from the sale of BHS.   Green sold the now defunct department store chain to serial bankrupt Dominic Chappell back in March 2015 and the regulator is…

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Admiral admit using Facebook data to price insurance premiums is a very f*cking bad idea!

Admiral admit using Facebook data to price insurance premiums is a very f*cking bad idea!

  Admiral was forced to admit yesterday that using people’s Facebook posts to set car insurance prices is a really, really bad idea.   Apart from the total and utter randomness of associating someone’s driving ability with whether or not they like to share pictures of cute kittens, or short recipe videos on how to…

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Innis & Gunn announces new ale sourced entirely from the cloud

Innis & Gunn announces new ale sourced entirely from the cloud

  Edinburgh brewer Innis & Gunn have announced the creation of a new beer made using ingredients sourced entirely from the cloud.   The company said the new ale called Sky P.A. is made from a number of, “uniquely sourced ingredients,” that have been specially brewed as part of a new drive for innovation and…

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