Britvic intensifies the war on sugar with a new flavourless, colourless soft drink

Britvic intensifies the war on sugar with a new flavourless, colourless soft drink

  Despite being an outspoken critic of plans to tax sugary drinks in the UK and Ireland, Britvic has finally bottled it and announced the launch of its own sugar (tax) free soft drink.   The company behind a whole host of fizzy drinks such as Pepsi, 7up and Tango, finally opened the can on…

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Ikea pledges to keep a lid on prices if customers supply their own furniture

Ikea pledges to keep a lid on prices if customers supply their own furniture

  Ikea has pledged to keep its prices low in light of an increase in the cost of imported goods – as long as customers agree to supply their own furniture going forward.   The Swedish retailer, famous for making averagely priced homes appear somewhere approaching respectable on the inside despite having a pebble dash…

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Iceland declares war on Iceland (which is extremely confusing for everybody)

Iceland declares war on Iceland (which is extremely confusing for everybody)

  Nordic state Iceland is bracing itself for war as its frozen food namesake is rumoured to be sending an invasion force over to Reykjavik.   The retailer revealed it was planning military action against the tiny state after it refused to give itself an alternative name. Iceland’s Head of Frozen Vegetables and international aggression…

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Armchair football fans and glory hunters finally get their own social media platform

Armchair football fans and glory hunters finally get their own social media platform

  Armchair football fans and glory hunters across the world rejoiced today as a new digital platform was launched to cater for their needs.   27 leading clubs such as Manchester City, FC Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Juventus, have come together to create dugout.com which offers original, behind-the-scenes content and relieves fans of the tiresome…

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New Viagra advert features South Korea’s President at a Ugandan sex orgy

New Viagra advert features South Korea’s President at a Ugandan sex orgy

  Pfizer unveiled its new advertising campaign for the wonder drug Viagra that will feature President Park Geun-Hye at a sex orgy in Uganda.   The 30 second clip will feature the under fire president at a Venetian masked ball, although to comply with the trade descriptions act, the extended version will need to last…

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Volkswagen, ‘Self-driving,’ cars found to have a child hiding in the boot playing Gran Turismo

Volkswagen, ‘Self-driving,’ cars found to have a child hiding in the boot playing Gran Turismo

  Volkswagen were caught up in a fresh scandal yesterday when a small child playing Gran Turismo was discovered hiding in the boot of one of its self-driving car prototypes.   Europe’s biggest car manufacturer said that autonomous vehicles would be at the heart of its turnaround plan and the latest shocking revelations have cast…

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Bendy Bananas officially, ‘not that bad,’ according to EU directive 666/2016.1

Bendy Bananas officially, ‘not that bad,’ according to EU directive 666/2016.1

  Bendy Bananas are back on the menu in Europe again as the Brexit Brigade celebrate record exports to our continental cousins across the channel.   UK food and drink exporters have been cashing in on our crumbling currency as exports of chocolate and other food stuffs the UK has no previous reputation for producing, fly…

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Worker representatives to be strip searched before leaving board meetings

Worker representatives to be strip searched before leaving board meetings

  The CBI announced yesterday that it would encourage the creation of worker representatives at board level, but only if staff agree to be strip searched before leaving board rooms.   There are fears in some organisations that by allowing lowly shop floor staff into board meetings to drink from the company’s posh china tea…

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Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

  Tesco has unveiled a radical plan to develop its own version of the run down, socially deprived council estate to try and generate extra funds.   The largest supermarket brand in the UK will build hundreds of high rise flats on top of the roofs of many of its stores and sprawling car parks…

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Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

  LinkedIn is no longer available in Russia after Vladimir Putin had his account suspended for being in breach of the website’s terms and conditions.   The Russian President had reportedly spent a whole afternoon choosing the right photo for his profile picture and eventually settled on one of him wearing Speedos whilst riding a…

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