British Fizz to be named, ‘British Fizz,’ after 50 years of squabbling

British Fizz to be named, ‘British Fizz,’ after 50 years of squabbling

  The United Kingdom Vineyard Association have finally decided upon a name for British Fizz after debating the issue at meetings for over 50 years.   The issue of what to name British Sparkling Wine was raised at the first ever Vineyard Association gathering over five decades ago and members have been squabbling over the…

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Tiffany & Co. seek anti-social behaviour order against noisy neighbours

Tiffany & Co. seek anti-social behaviour order against noisy neighbours

  Tiffany & Co. are seeking an anti-social behaviour order against their next door neighbours The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The once respectable Fifth Avenue in New York that was home to top tier jewellers like Cartier, Van Cleef & Arpel and Harry Winston, has been turned into a no go area because of…

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PM says, ‘Brexit,’ will be replaced by the term, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

PM says, ‘Brexit,’ will be replaced by the term, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

  Theresa May has finally outlined her plans for Britain’s departure from the EU and has stated unequivocally that the word, ‘Brexit,’ will be replaced by, ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.’ The Prime minister says that the word used in the hit film, ‘Mary Poppins,’ is the most accurate indicator of the terms Britain will be seeking in any…

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Rolls Royce insist bribery is the best way to sell a £250,000 skip on wheels

Rolls Royce insist bribery is the best way to sell a £250,000 skip on wheels

  Rolls Royce insist that bribery and corruption are still two of the best ways to sell a £250,000 motorised skip on wheels to unyielding customers.   Given the plethora of other things that could be purchased with a quarter of a million pounds, the car maker is adamant that the odd kickback and freebie…

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Office workers forced to wear brain scanners in a bid to eliminate, ‘sickies.’

Office workers forced to wear brain scanners in a bid to eliminate, ‘sickies.’

  Thousands of office workers have been forced by managers to wear brain scanners in a bid to prevent them, ‘pulling a sickie.’   The devices will be able to monitor how much they spent at the pub after work, who they were with and also what time they went to bed if indeed they…

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BBC viewers say streaming TV shows before they air will make a mess of the news

BBC viewers say streaming TV shows before they air will make a mess of the news

  Users of the BBC iPlayer service have expressed concern over plans to make TV programmes available in their entirety before they are screened on television.   Viewers have highlighted potential problems in certain areas, most notably when it comes to watching the news. Habitual TV license payer Mrs. Chanel Fore said, “In my opinion,…

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Business talk is off the menu at Trump family dinners

Business talk is off the menu at Trump family dinners

  Business talk will be banned at Trump family dinners in a bid to avoid any conflict of interest now that Donald Jr and Eric have taken control of the President’s commercial interests.   Mr Trump is hoping that by simply not talking about business with any of his sons, he will be compliant with…

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Whitbread admit the, ‘bread,’ in their name may not be gluten free

Whitbread admit the, ‘bread,’ in their name may not be gluten free

  Whitbread admit the, ‘bread,’ contained in its name may not actually be gluten free.   Despite making repeated claims to the contrary on numerous occasions and customers coming away from Sunday lunches at Table Table with anaphylactic shock, the restaurant chain has always insisted the bread contained in its name is safe to be…

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William Hill at a complete loss as to why favourites keep on winning

William Hill at a complete loss as to why favourites keep on winning

  William Hill has suffered a £20 million fall in profits due to betting, ‘favourites,’ being genuinely better than everyone else competing in the field.   Despite offering short odds and calling them, ‘favourites,’ the bookmaker is confused as to why people continually place bets on them – never mind the fact that they actually…

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“People still do it on the desktop with their windows open,” says Pornhub

“People still do it on the desktop with their windows open,” says Pornhub

  Adult video company Pornhub recently published its annual report and the trends and insights of the past year have caused a collective gag reflex among experts.   The company registered 92 billion video views over 12 months – approximately 13 views for every man, woman and child on the planet, thus confirming the idea…

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