Investors abandon bitcoin in favour of rail season ticket speculation

Investors abandon bitcoin in favour of rail season ticket speculation

  Investors have been offloading their bitcoins en masse in favour of buying a rail season ticket The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   Prices have increased by 3.4% across the UK in the biggest increase to train fares since 2013 and savvy speculators have realised that this makes the average rail season ticket more profitable…

News , ,

FTSE 100 bosses unsure how to spend their money for the rest of the year

FTSE 100 bosses unsure how to spend their money for the rest of the year

  FTSE 100 bosses are unsure of how to spend their money for the rest of the year the Adam Smith Institute has revealed.   As a result of earning the average UK worker’s annual salary of £28,758 in just 32 hours, top Chief Executives face the unenviable prospect of having to endure the rest…

News , , ,

Trump integrates global thermonuclear war launch codes with his Twitter account

Trump integrates global thermonuclear war launch codes with his Twitter account

  Donald Trump this week announced that he has integrated the US’s global thermonuclear weapons arsenal with his Twitter account meaning he could potentially start World War Three whilst sitting on the toilet taking a dump.   The US president used Kim Jong Un’s New Year’s Day speech as the basis for his latest provocative…

News , , , ,

Government admits tech firms are the least well-equipped people to fight terrorism

Government admits tech firms are the least well-equipped people to fight terrorism

The UK government has admitted that people who work as software engineers for tech firms are the least well-equipped people to fight terrorism.   UK Security Minister Ben Wallace said that the government has been forced to step in to deal with radical extremists because the boffins that work at companies such as Facebook, Google…

News , , ,

Citizen’s Advice urges people to consider alternative new year’s resolution to the gym

Citizen’s Advice urges people to consider alternative new year’s resolution to the gym

  Citizen’s Advice has confirmed that it is advising consumers to think carefully before signing up for a gym membership in 2018.   The charity received an average of six complaints every day about gyms and fitness clubs during 2017 and says that the majority of problems could be avoided if people simply put a…

News , ,

Shell to provide domestic energy by fitting homes with petrol pumps

Shell to provide domestic energy by fitting homes with petrol pumps

  Shell has announced plans to gain its first foothold into the UK’s household energy market by fitting petrol pumps onto the homes of its customers.   The fuel giant is already actively involved in the wholesale energy market, but this is the first time it will supply UK homes directly, leaving many customers wondering…

News , ,

Online retailers don’t know the difference between real fur and fun fur

Online retailers don’t know the difference between real fur and fun fur

  A string of online retailers don’t appear to know the difference between real fur and fun fur a recent investigation has revealed.   Some of the UK’s biggest online retailers including Amazon, Groupon, Etsy and Miss Bardo have been selling mislabelled real fur, meaning customers have ended up purchasing expensive chinchilla coats that are…

News , ,

Owner of house bought with bitcoin is yet to attend neighbourhood watch meetings

Owner of house bought with bitcoin is yet to attend neighbourhood watch meetings

  The owner of the world’s first house to be purchased using Bitcoin is yet to attend a neighbourhood watch meeting The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The new build house in Colchester, Essex has become the first in the world to be sold for Bitcoin as the price for the currency recently surged above…

News , ,

Facebook ‘Take a Break’ feature is responsible for 99% of make up sex

Facebook ‘Take a Break’ feature is responsible for 99% of make up sex

  The new ‘Take a break’ feature introduced by Facebook is said by experts to be responsible for more than 99% of make up sex.   Having the ability to block an ex-partner from the news feed is said to be so effective when It comes to coping with the emotional stress of a failed…

News , ,

Uber says its business practices were developed in the former East Germany

Uber says its business practices were developed in the former East Germany

  Uber this week announced that its key business practices were developed in the former East Germany.   The details were outlined in a 37-page letter filed by the company’s ex-security manager Richard Jacobs, who stated that the theft of competitive trade secrets, bribery of foreign officials and spying on competitors and politicians were all…

News , , , ,