Irn Bru is now no better for curing hangovers than Buckfast claim Scottish drinkers

Irn Bru is now no better for curing hangovers than Buckfast claim Scottish drinkers

  Outrage has swept across Scotland as AG Barr announced the amount of sugar in its Irn Bru brand will be halved ahead of a government crackdown on fizzy drinks.   The number one cure for hangovers north of the border will have its sugar content reduced from10g per 100ml to just below 5g making…

News , , , ,

Post-Brexit Nissan cars may have to use technology from The Flintstones

Post-Brexit Nissan cars may have to use technology from The Flintstones

  Nissan has called on the UK government to provide investment to replace overseas components after the country leaves the EU, or the new Qashqai model may have to be built using technology from The Flintstones.   Senior executives at Nissan have warned the government that whilst they will agree to continue manufacturing at their…

News , , ,

Tesco says demoting 1700 staff has nothing to do with money – honest!

Tesco says demoting 1700 staff has nothing to do with money – honest!

  Tesco insist forcing 1700 deputy managers to take a pay cut if they want to keep their jobs has absolutely nothing to do with money.   Britain’s largest retailer said it was axing deputy manager positions at Tesco Express convenience stores and replacing them with 3,300 shift leader jobs in a move designed to…

News , ,

Mike Ashley upsets Sports Direct customers with Agent Provocateur bid

Mike Ashley upsets Sports Direct customers with Agent Provocateur bid

  Billionaire tycoon Mike Ashley caused a panic among Sports Direct customers after entering the race to purchase struggling retailer Agent Provocateur.   Loyalists of the sports chain fear traditional sexy underwear brands like Slazenger, Everlast, Kangol and Karrimoor will be replaced in the bargain bins by high end negligée. Sports Direct’s Head of Bargain Basement…

News , , ,

New Nokia 3310 comes with innovative time travel feature

New Nokia 3310 comes with innovative time travel feature

  Nokia announced the launch of its new handset that comes with the unique ability to transport users back to the year 2000.   The new Nokia 3310 is a remake of the company’s iconic handset that was first launched 17 years ago and owners of the new version will instantly get transported back in…

News , , ,

“You get what you pay for!” says the manufacturer of the world’s cheapest smartphone

“You get what you pay for!” says the manufacturer of the world’s cheapest smartphone

  The Indian firm that claims to sell the world’s cheapest smartphone says customers shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t receive their products after purchasing them.   The director of Ringing Bells was arrested on allegations of fraud but says the only reason why his company is able to sell its products so cheaply is…

News , , ,

Deliveroo claims not being a proper company has its downside

Deliveroo claims not being a proper company has its downside

  Bosses at Deliveroo and Uber have told MPs that not paying sick pay, pensions, or a guaranteed minimum wage is all part and parcel of the gig economy – but there’s also a downside to it all.   Senior executives at the tech firms told MPs that a change in the law currently being…

News , , , ,

Vodafone finally realises no one uses pagers anymore except Bill Oddie

Vodafone finally realises no one uses pagers anymore except Bill Oddie

  Vodafone is leaving the pager business after finally realising that the only person in the UK who still uses one is birdwatching aficionado Bill Oddie.   The telecoms operator agreed a deal to sell its pager division to professional services company Capita, but because the deal will leave Bill Oddie as the only person…

News , ,

My Friend Cayla Doll alleged to be a former high ranking member of The Stasi

My Friend Cayla Doll alleged to be a former high ranking member of The Stasi

  The distributor of My Friend Cayla, a talking doll which has been banned in Germany due to security concerns insists the toy has never at any point been a high ranking member of The Stasi.   Vivid GmbH has refuted allegations about My Friend Cayla that her real identity is actually Cayla Von Zersetzung,…

News , , , , ,

Debenhams offers staff extra toilet breaks to reach national minimum wage

Debenhams offers staff extra toilet breaks to reach national minimum wage

    Debenhams has come top of the league for companies that underpay staff, so will increase the number of toilet breaks it allows in an attempt to meet the national minimum wage.   The department store chain underpaid staff £10 each on average in 2015 because of a ‘technical error on its payroll system,’…

News , ,