Poundland to be renamed, ‘you’ll still get change from a £2 coin-land.’

Poundland to be renamed, ‘you’ll still get change from a £2 coin-land.’

  Poundland will be renamed, ‘you’ll still get change from a £2 coin-land,’ in a bid to better reflect the prices on offer in its stores.   The latest introduction of clothing into Poundland is part of a broader strategy to sell items that are priced at more than £1 and there are fears that…

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Brexit letter said to contain the emoji for, ‘we want Calais back.’

Brexit letter said to contain the emoji for, ‘we want Calais back.’

  Theresa May’s six-page Brexit letter is said to contain the emoji for, ‘we want Calais back,’ in the bottom left-hand corner after the letters P and S.   The letter warns the EU in no uncertain terms that not doing a trade deal with Britain would be a, ‘costly mistake,’ but before negotiations proper can…

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New one pound coin is so secure it only qualifies as legal tender in strip clubs

New one pound coin is so secure it only qualifies as legal tender in strip clubs

  The new 12-sided one pound coin went into circulation this week although the new security features mean it can only be spent at pound-in-the-pot strip joints.   Only a small number of the new coins were released initially, with strict limits placed on how many could be handed out and The Post Office was…

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Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones to be repackaged and sold as firelighters

Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones to be repackaged and sold as firelighters

  Samsung has confirmed that its Galaxy Note 7 smartphones will be repackaged and sold as firelighters to people that enjoy having barbecues.   Following the battery problems and worldwide recall of the Note 7 last year, Samsung has now revealed what will happen to the 2.5 million returned phones and predicts a soar in…

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Uber: self-driving cars perfectly safe as long as someone is behind the wheel

Uber: self-driving cars perfectly safe as long as someone is behind the wheel

  Uber Technologies Inc. have stated that self-driving cars are perfectly safe as long as there is somebody behind the wheel at all times.   The latest accident involving a self-driving vehicle operated by one of several companies experimenting with autonomous technology caused no serious injuries, but in the interest of safety, every self-driving car will…

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30% of middle class people to be replaced by robots by the year 2030

30% of middle class people to be replaced by robots by the year 2030

  Almost a third of middle class people will be replaced by robots by the 2030s according to a recent study.   Developments in robotics and artificial intelligence will eradicate the need for people that live in the Home Counties, Cheshire and Highgate in North London according to the report from accountancy firm PwC. PwC’s…

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Scientists fear Aldi checkout staff may be causing time dilation

Scientists fear Aldi checkout staff may be causing time dilation

  Leading scientists have expressed concern that Aldi checkout staff may be causing time dilation due to their super speedy item scanning skills.   A recent physics research paper said the discount supermarket’s ultra-fast checkout staff may be causing small ruptures in the fabric of space time as the rate at which they are able…

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Shopping at Adidas is now a bit like popping over to your gran’s house

Shopping at Adidas is now a bit like popping over to your gran’s house

  Adidas has been testing a new store concept where shoppers can sit down and have a cup of tea, listen to stories about the war and leave with their own knitted sweater and a packet of Werther’s originals.   It hopes the drive will help it adjust better to fickle fashion trends by ignoring…

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“Okay – we lied!” says Unilever to people that still can’t believe it’s not butter

“Okay – we lied!” says Unilever to people that still can’t believe it’s not butter

  Unilever admits that people who knew it wasn’t butter all along were in fact correct and margarine is nothing more than the butter equivalent of those fake Tag Heuer watches you can buy in holiday destinations like Magaluf.   The Anglo-Dutch consumer goods giant said that its margarine line is being considered for sale…

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Monopoly replaces out of date wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex

Monopoly replaces out of date wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex

  Hasbro has announced its intention to modernise the Monopoly game by replacing its outdated wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex.   The gaming giant says that despite not having existed on planet earth for over 70 million years, dinosaurs are still a much more relevant symbol of modernity than the anachronistic wheelbarrow. Hasbro’s Head…

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