Nestle fails in its bid to trademark all rude hand gestures

Nestle fails in its bid to trademark all rude hand gestures

  London’s Court of Appeal has flipped the bird at an attempt by Nestle to trademark all the rude hand gestures that are currently in existence.   Nestle claims that the four-fingers of its KitKat chocolate snack constitutes a trademark and therefore a royalty should be paid every time somebody decides to use one of…

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Aboriginal man faces legal action for selling counterfeit Chanel didgeridoos

Aboriginal man faces legal action for selling counterfeit Chanel didgeridoos

  An Aboriginal man has been denounced on social media for appropriating western culture by producing a $2,000 Chanel didgeridoo line that has been derided as the ultimate in trademark infringement.   The Eucalyptus tree trunk segments that have been drilled out by termites are available on ebay or Amazon in the luxury products section….

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“Uber is not a taxi company,” says unreliable witness at EU Court hearing

“Uber is not a taxi company,” says unreliable witness at EU Court hearing

  Uber is not a taxi company according to a witness at a recent European Court of Justice hearing whose nose began to grow upon taking the oath in the witness box.   The trial to ascertain whether ferrying passengers around in a motor vehicle in return for payment constitutes being a taxi firm, took…

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Heineken launches 0% beer to ruin the sex lives of ugly people

Heineken launches 0% beer to ruin the sex lives of ugly people

  Heineken has developed a zero-alcohol beer with the sole aim of destroying the sex lives of people who got twatted with an ugly stick at birth.   Heineken 0.0 will roll out across 14 markets this year and sees the brand’s usual green label turn blue to highlight the drink’s zero alcohol content as…

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Dyson wins this year’s ‘Great British Suck Off’

Dyson wins this year’s ‘Great British Suck Off’

  Sir James Dyson and his company have won this year’s annual suction challenge, ‘The Great British Suck Off.’   The popular TV show, previously referred to as ‘Suck Off,’ is the UK’s foremost suction competition which selects from amongst its contestants the finest entities capable of forcing substances into a vacant space by creating…

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Amazon shopping ‘bot’ to appear on the next series of Robot Wars

Amazon shopping ‘bot’ to appear on the next series of Robot Wars

  The Amazon shopping bot has defeated machines built by other retailers so convincingly that it has been invited to appear on the next series of robot wars.   Walmart and many other retailers use automated software that’s intended to look like an authentic web surfer to the site being scanned, but Amazon blocked Walmart’s…

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Dove brings out a body wash bottle shaped like an Essex bricklayer

Dove brings out a body wash bottle shaped like an Essex bricklayer

  Dove has brought out a range of body-shaped bottles as part of their “Real Beauty” campaign that are shaped like Essex bricklayers.   The body washes are designed to reflect the “one of a kind” body shapes of their consumers who can often be found working on building sites and eating fry ups in…

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Starbucks says its Unicorn Frappuccino is authentic because it doesn’t actually exist

Starbucks says its Unicorn Frappuccino is authentic because it doesn’t actually exist

  Starbucks says its Unicorn Frappuccino is a more authentic flavour than the Frappuccino latte because just like Unicorns, it doesn’t actually exist.   The coffee chain faces a $10 million trademark infringement lawsuit that is being brought by The End, an independent coffee shop based in Brooklyn, New York (a place completely devoid of…

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London football hooligans react angrily as Burberry plans a move to Leeds

London football hooligans react angrily as Burberry plans a move to Leeds

  London’s football hooligans have reacted angrily as Burberry announces plans to relocate to West Yorkshire as part of cost-saving measures.   The luxury brand said it plans to open a new business centre in Leeds later in the year, meaning hooligans that support clubs in the capital will struggle to get hold of any…

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Money begins to grow on trees as old £5 notes get used to make compost

Money begins to grow on trees as old £5 notes get used to make compost

  Money is starting to grow on trees after the first batch of old £5 notes has been shredded and turned into compost for use in horticulture.   The Bank of England said 150 million of its paper £5 notes remain with the public, but since it started using the old fivers as an ingredient…

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