Coffee chains conduct staff cavity searches in the hope of finding ice cubes

Coffee chains conduct staff cavity searches in the hope of finding ice cubes

  Major high street coffee chains will begin conducting cavity searches on staff after ice cubes at various locations have been found to contain the bacteria from faeces.   Samples of iced drinks from Costa Coffee, Starbucks and Caffe Nero contained varying levels of the bacteria, but luckily it doesn’t take a genius to work…

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Great Barrier Reef to be given same financial status as high street banks

Great Barrier Reef to be given same financial status as high street banks

  The Great Barrier Reef is to be afforded the same financial status as high street banks after being valued at $42bn.   The reef contributes significantly to the local economy and supports over 64,000 jobs so should be deemed too big to fail like many of the high street banks were during the 2008…

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Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

  One in four retailers on London’s Bond Street have considered selling their leases in the hope of landing on free parking instead.   With parking space in the capital now costing the same as Lionel Messi’s latest tax return, Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, De Beers and DKNY are among the big brands that…

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New Airbnb premium service will encourage hosts to be more like Basil Fawlty

New Airbnb premium service will encourage hosts to be more like Basil Fawlty

  Airbnb’s proposed new premium service will see hosts being encouraged to behave more like Basil Fawlty from the hit TV show Fawlty Towers.   The new product intends to attract higher-paying travellers who have yet to use Airbnb because they prefer the amenities that are guaranteed by hotels such as being shouted at by…

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Uber forced to hail a black cab for its former CEO

Uber forced to hail a black cab for its former CEO

  Uber was forced to hail a black cab when its former Chief Executive refused to leave the premises unless the company paid for his ride home.   Despite having drivers that operate in over 570 cities worldwide, the technology company felt it would be bad form if its ousted CEO was seen arguing with…

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Mattel gives Ken a modern day makeover

Mattel gives Ken a modern day makeover

  Mattel has given its Ken doll a modern day makeover to make him more relevant to kids today.   Amid growing concern that the 56 year old boyfriend of Barbie really shouldn’t be spending so much time with young children, the toy manufacturer has decided to give him a makeover so that he doesn’t…

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Marks and Spencer to replace sticker guns with laser rifles

Marks and Spencer to replace sticker guns with laser rifles

  Marks and Spencer is set to replace its sticker guns with laser rifles a bit like the ones used by The Federation in episodes of hit TV show Star Trek.   The upgrade in firepower will enable the supermarket retailer to apprehend shoplifters far more effectively than simply covering would-be thieves in barcode labels…

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Louis Vuitton improves vampire fashion by making products in Transylvania

Louis Vuitton improves vampire fashion by making products in Transylvania

  Louis Vuitton has significantly improved the dress sense of vampires after it was discovered that a significant number of the company’s products are made in Transylvania.   The factories are a well-kept secret and their identity is closely guarded, but many of the shoes and boots the luxury fashion brand sells for between £500…

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Emmanuel Macron says it’s about time France had its own Twitter account

Emmanuel Macron says it’s about time France had its own Twitter account

  President Emmanuel Macron has stated on record that it’s about time France signed up for a twitter account.   Speaking at the Viva Tech conference in Paris, France, Macron outlined how his government would slash the red tape that makes it difficult for him to tweet, and cited US President Donald Trump as an…

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DFS issues a profit warning amid claims it may have had one sale too many

DFS issues a profit warning amid claims it may have had one sale too many

  DFS Furniture shares have dipped by 22% after the sofa specialist admitted it may have had too many sales in the past.   The company blamed the general election for contributing to a sharp fall in demand in the second half of its financial year, but also admitted that customers may have cottoned on…

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