Manchester United YouTube channel waiting for its 1st subscriber from Manchester

Manchester United YouTube channel waiting for its 1st subscriber from Manchester

  The official Manchester United YouTube channel is still awaiting its first subscriber that is actually from Manchester according to YouTube’s audience analytics data.   The English Premier League team is looking to build its brand and commercial income in a deal with the world’s biggest video-sharing site, but as of yet nobody from Manchester…

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NatWest AI bot Cora to have her employee probation period extended

NatWest AI bot Cora to have her employee probation period extended

  NatWest has recruited an artificial intelligence-powered “digital human” called Cora that will unfortunately have her three month probation period extended due to a series of workplace transgressions.   The ‘highly lifelike’ AI bot is currently able to answer basic verbal questions such as “How do I login to online banking?”, “How do I apply…

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Apple forced to install Windows at its new headquarters

Apple forced to install Windows at its new headquarters

  Apple has been forced to install Windows at its new headquarters in Cupertino, California The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The massive, ring-shaped office is surrounded by 45-foot tall curved panels of ‘safety’ glass which Apple staff, who are often glued to their iPhones, keep walking into in the mistaken belief that they are…

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L’Oreal realises chocolate isn’t the best substance to use for make-up

L’Oreal realises chocolate isn’t the best substance to use for make-up

  L‘Oreal has indicated a readiness to buy Nestle’s 23% stake in the world’s biggest cosmetics firm after finally coming to terms with the fact that chocolate isn’t the best substance to use for manufacturing make-up.   L‘Oreal said it was prepared to finance a purchase of the holding worth around 22.3 billion euros ($27.4…

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UK Government fears KFC chicken shortage may result in the downfall of civilization

UK Government fears KFC chicken shortage may result in the downfall of civilization

  The UK government has issued a statement declaring a state of emergency as the recent KFC chicken shortage gradually descends from a national crisis into the downfall of civilization as we know it.   The announcement comes after the fast food chain was forced to shut shops across the UK because they didn’t have…

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Airbnb plans to let any old Tom, Dick or Harry become a tour guide

Airbnb plans to let any old Tom, Dick or Harry become a tour guide

  Airbnb has announced plans to let any old Tom, Dick or Harry become a professional tour guide via its ‘Experiences’ arm of the business.   In the same way that it enabled pretty much anybody with a front door key to become a hotelier, the company is ramping up its efforts to become a…

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Wenger claims Alexandre Lacazette was accidentally bought by his Amazon Echo

Wenger claims Alexandre Lacazette was accidentally bought by his Amazon Echo

  Arsene Wenger has sensationally claimed this week that Alexandre Lacazette was accidentally purchased by his Amazon Echo device whilst he was searching for some music to listen to at home in his conservatory.   The Echo Dot, which can perform functions such as making shopping lists and playing music with voice commands, is rumoured…

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Tesco to take on Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other

Tesco to take on Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other

  Tesco is understood to be working on a secret plan to take on cut-price chains Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other in its stores.   Aldi and Lidl have been winning shoppers from the big four supermarkets namely: Tesco, Asda, Morrisons and Sainsbury’s since the last recession, yet in…

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Sports Direct customers ejected unless they get to level 2 of Space Invaders

Sports Direct customers ejected unless they get to level 2 of Space Invaders

  Sports Direct customers will be ejected from stores unless they are able to prove themselves capable of reaching level 2 of the arcade game Space Invaders.   The sports retail chain’s owner Mike Ashley is hoping to cash in by clearing space in stores to host live matches between players who will battle it…

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Eurostar launches new ‘weed special’ service between London and Amsterdam

Eurostar launches new ‘weed special’ service between London and Amsterdam

  Eurostar has announced that it will be launching a new ‘weed special’ service between London and Amsterdam in a bid to compete with airlines for the lucrative cannabis smoking demographic.   The service will allow passengers to travel from St Pancras station in central London, direct to the Netherlands in three to four hours,…

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