You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

  So – you’ve seen the movie Wall St. and wholeheartedly agree with the following: ‘greed is good,’ ‘Lunch is for wimps,’ ‘Never do cocaine straight after breakfast,’ etc. If you like the idea of spending more on a bar bill than most people spend on their first home and if your favourite movie scene…

Features, Unemployed

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

In the digital era, most sensitive information is stored on computers. Should you find yourself embroiled in an office rivalry with one of your colleagues, perhaps you are going for the same internal promotion for example – you can give yourself a head start on the competition by obtaining their password and rooting around in their…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

Dear Darcus, A staff member recently had a boob job and subsequently appeared on a pornographic calendar that is currently being passed around the office quicker than a mini Ebola pandemic. What is the best way to respond?   Dear reader, Unfortunately in working life, we sometimes make mistakes. When that fresh faced, enthusiastic young…

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You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

  Politics is a very dirty game indeed. Your best friend can be your worst enemy as hugs and kisses are followed by a stab in the back from your trusted ally. It is also however, an industry like no other. Imagine having the power to decide what time the pubs should close, or how…

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The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

One of the great benefits of working in an office environment is the vibrant social life that accompanies it. Office life is littered with opportunities to bond with colleagues over drinks after work. Birthdays, Christmas or somebody leaving – sometimes a tough day’s graft is all that is required to inspire the fateful words, “fancy…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Smelly Feet in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Smelly Feet in the office

    Dear Darcus, One of my team has smelly feet and often removes his shoes under the desk at work. This would be fine if his feet didn’t smell like rotting animal carcasses. Should this person be forced to stay permanently laced up for the sake of office morale?   Dear Reader, We understand…

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You’ve just been sacked…….why not become a Premier League Footballer?

You’ve just been sacked…….why not become a Premier League Footballer?

  Let’s just for one second forget you had your thirty-second birthday last week. Let’s ignore the fact that you smoke thirty cigarettes a day and think the phrase, ‘going to the gym,’ is a euphemism for scoring gear from your Scottish drug dealer friend. Since you’ve been relieved of your position in your previous…

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How to break into your boss’s office

How to break into your boss’s office

  The dynamics of office politics dictate that at some point in your career, you will have a justifiable reason for breaking into your boss’s office. It may be that you need to alter the amount of annual leave you have left on your boss’s staff planner, or you may need to hand in your…

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Which office department should you really be working in?

Which office department should you really be working in?

  Modern office life is generally underpinned by gross inefficiency and ineptitude. In his book The Peter Principle, Lawrence Peter investigates the idea that most organisations are staffed by people that are fundamentally ill-equipped to do the job they are paid for. We therefore spend the majority of our conscious lives working in roles that…

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You’ve just been sacked……………why not become a hip hop artist?

You’ve just been sacked……………why not become a hip hop artist?

  We’ve all seen, 8 Mile haven’t we? If only it were possible to go seamlessly from writing hip hop rhymes in the toilet at work, to performing at the O2 or Madison Square Garden. The reality however, is – it is! Whilst becoming the next Jay-Z or Kanye West is a journey that contains…

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