W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Smelly Feet in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Smelly Feet in the office

    Dear Darcus, One of my team has smelly feet and often removes his shoes under the desk at work. This would be fine if his feet didn’t smell like rotting animal carcasses. Should this person be forced to stay permanently laced up for the sake of office morale?   Dear Reader, We understand…

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You’ve just been sacked…….why not become a Premier League Footballer?

You’ve just been sacked…….why not become a Premier League Footballer?

  Let’s just for one second forget you had your thirty-second birthday last week. Let’s ignore the fact that you smoke thirty cigarettes a day and think the phrase, ‘going to the gym,’ is a euphemism for scoring gear from your Scottish drug dealer friend. Since you’ve been relieved of your position in your previous…

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How to break into your boss’s office

How to break into your boss’s office

  The dynamics of office politics dictate that at some point in your career, you will have a justifiable reason for breaking into your boss’s office. It may be that you need to alter the amount of annual leave you have left on your boss’s staff planner, or you may need to hand in your…

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Which office department should you really be working in?

Which office department should you really be working in?

  Modern office life is generally underpinned by gross inefficiency and ineptitude. In his book The Peter Principle, Lawrence Peter investigates the idea that most organisations are staffed by people that are fundamentally ill-equipped to do the job they are paid for. We therefore spend the majority of our conscious lives working in roles that…

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You’ve just been sacked……………why not become a hip hop artist?

You’ve just been sacked……………why not become a hip hop artist?

  We’ve all seen, 8 Mile haven’t we? If only it were possible to go seamlessly from writing hip hop rhymes in the toilet at work, to performing at the O2 or Madison Square Garden. The reality however, is – it is! Whilst becoming the next Jay-Z or Kanye West is a journey that contains…

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W1nners’ Club problem page – Staff posing naked on social media

W1nners’ Club problem page – Staff posing naked on social media

Dear Darcus, One of my team recently posted a naked photo of themselves on social media. Is this acceptable behaviour or should I fire the useless cretin?   Dear Reader, Before we can give you any advice on such a scenario, it would be advantageous if we were able to see photographic evidence of such…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Male Porn Star?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Male Porn Star?

Becoming a male porn star, contrary to what some believe (and what the picture above suggests), is by no means easy. In fact, for want of a better phrase it’s actually quite, erm – hard.   Having sex with impossibly beautiful women for seven hours a day may sound like the greatest job on earth,…

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W1nners’ Club problem page – Fake Client Meetings

W1nners’ Club problem page – Fake Client Meetings

  Dear Darcus, One of my team members consistently lies about going to client meetings. They regularly put them in the diary but always seem to come back to the office laden with shopping bags afterwards, especially when Sportsdirect are having a clearance sale of Slazenger track tops – what should I do?   Dear…

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My boss is a psycho, but what type of psychopath are they?

My boss is a psycho, but what type of psychopath are they?

Most offices are headed up by charismatic psychopaths that shape an organisation’s culture and define the type of day everybody else endures by means of a well-placed tantrum or strongly worded group email. Such leaders have a spark about them that most office types don’t possess – a je ne sais quoi that guaranteed their…

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