Assessment of potential for promotion – Ball Sack Suit Wearer

Assessment of potential for promotion – Ball Sack Suit Wearer

  Job title: Charity Ball Sack Suit Wearer Department: Sales and Marketing Length of time in post: 1 week Date of appraisal: __06/__11/__16 Section A:  Assessment of potential Not fitted at present for further promotion Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years Fitted for promotion Section B Employee’s aspirations:…

Features, Human Resources ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Sex in the Office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Sex in the Office

Dear Darcus, Two members of staff were caught engaging in sexual intercourse in the toilets by the night cleaner at 4am. What action should be taken in light of this now being the office comedy story of the year?   Dear reader, As you well know, a successful modern company has enough challenges to face…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not become a Tech Billionaire?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a Tech Billionaire?

  Back at the beginning of the twentieth century, the world’s only billionaire was one JD Rockerfeller who built his wealth dabbling in the then burgeoning petroleum industry.   Fast forward a century and billionaires are more common than national lottery winners – or so it would seem. Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffett, Evan…

Features, Unemployed ,

The 10 worst excuses you can ever use to explain being late for work

The 10 worst excuses you can ever use to explain being late for work

  Everybody at some point in their working life has experienced the gut-wrenching panic of a race against the clock to avoid being late for work.   Whether it’s the result of an over-amorous relationship with the snooze button on your alarm clock, or simply plain old bad luck on the journey in. If you want…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Drugs in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Drugs in the office

  Dear Darcus, A member of staff has turned up to work with pupils the size of black holes, their jaw is set hard at an unnatural angle and they are continually sniffing loudly as if they have the bubonic plague. What is the appropriate course of action to take?   Dear Reader, Staff turning…

Features, Problem Page , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

  So – you’ve seen the movie Wall St. and wholeheartedly agree with the following: ‘greed is good,’ ‘Lunch is for wimps,’ ‘Never do cocaine straight after breakfast,’ etc. If you like the idea of spending more on a bar bill than most people spend on their first home and if your favourite movie scene…

Features, Unemployed

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

In the digital era, most sensitive information is stored on computers. Should you find yourself embroiled in an office rivalry with one of your colleagues, perhaps you are going for the same internal promotion for example – you can give yourself a head start on the competition by obtaining their password and rooting around in their…

Employed, Features ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

Dear Darcus, A staff member recently had a boob job and subsequently appeared on a pornographic calendar that is currently being passed around the office quicker than a mini Ebola pandemic. What is the best way to respond?   Dear reader, Unfortunately in working life, we sometimes make mistakes. When that fresh faced, enthusiastic young…

Features, Problem Page ,

You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

  Politics is a very dirty game indeed. Your best friend can be your worst enemy as hugs and kisses are followed by a stab in the back from your trusted ally. It is also however, an industry like no other. Imagine having the power to decide what time the pubs should close, or how…

Features, Unemployed , ,

The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

One of the great benefits of working in an office environment is the vibrant social life that accompanies it. Office life is littered with opportunities to bond with colleagues over drinks after work. Birthdays, Christmas or somebody leaving – sometimes a tough day’s graft is all that is required to inspire the fateful words, “fancy…

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