You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a You Tube Star?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a You Tube Star?

  Becoming unemployed will give you the most important thing anybody requires to become successful in life Rich Parents time! The thing you need to do is work out what to do with all the hours you now have at your disposal in between going to see your job coach at the benefits office. You…

Features, Unemployed ,

The 20 quirkiest Secret Santa gifts available in the world today

The 20 quirkiest Secret Santa gifts available in the world today

  It’s that time of year again. Everyone in the office is preparing for Christmas which can mean only one thing. Apart from having to keep your behaviour in check whilst drunk at the Office party, you’ll also have to purchase a Secret Santa gift for one of your colleagues.   Here is The W1nners’…

Employed, Features ,

Notice of final written warning – Misuse of company property

Notice of final written warning – Misuse of company property

Date 07/12/16   Dear Dave, You attended a disciplinary hearing on 28th November and I am writing to inform you of your final written warning. This warning will be placed in your personal file but will be disregarded for disciplinary purposes after a period of 6 months, provided your conduct improves. a) The nature of…

Features, Human Resources ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Superstar DJ?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Superstar DJ?

  Unfortunately you have once again fallen foul of workplace disciplinary procedures and unemployment – rather than being a word the government uses to describe a segment of the population that is currently out of work, now refers to you. All is not lost however, as new opportunities exist around the corner. Have you ever thought…

Features, Unemployed ,

What does the fragrance you wear into work every day tell your colleagues about you?

What does the fragrance you wear into work every day tell your colleagues about you?

Smell is one of the most important senses in the animal kingdom and humans being animals as well, albeit with slightly less hair (in most cases) and a marginally higher capacity to reason – also use smell as a fundamental way of interacting with each other. The way we smell establishes our personal brand. It…

Employed, Features , ,

Letter of enquiry to GP regarding likely cause of absence – Punt Gun Assistant

Letter of enquiry to GP regarding likely cause of absence – Punt Gun Assistant

Doctor’s name: Dr Jeremiah Josephs                   Date: 30/11/1851 Address: 26 Harley Street, London Postcode: W1G 0EB PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Suspected Deafness Name: Winston Chomeley-Warner Address: 65 Baker Street, London To administer Statutory Sick Pay, and the Company’s sick pay scheme, and to…

Features, Human Resources ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Asleep in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Asleep in the office

  Dear Darcus, One of my sales team have returned from a client lunch as drunk as a monkey and they have subsequently fallen asleep at their desk. My staff member is lying face down on their keyboard and snoring loudly, what is the best way to wake them up?   Dear Reader, There are…

Features, Problem Page , ,

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a Formula One Racing Driver?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a Formula One Racing Driver?

  Becoming a Formula One racing driver is no mean feat. Just because you got the fastest lap when you went go karting on your mate’s stag do, it’s more than likely this was achieved because everyone else was hungover from the night before. To stand any chance whatsoever of spraying champagne over your fellow…

Features, Unemployed ,

How to get your car started on a cold winter’s morning to avoid being late for work

How to get your car started on a cold winter’s morning to avoid being late for work

  Those of us here at W1nners’ Club HQ that actually went to school often reminisce about those days. The winter in particular, was a very special time. Gathering around the radio (there was no Google back then) to find out if your school had lost its battle with the inclement weather and if indeed…

Employed, Features , , ,

Letter of enquiry to GP – Crocodile Trainer

Letter of enquiry to GP – Crocodile Trainer

  Letter of enquiry to GP regarding likely cause of absence   Doctor’s name: Dr. George Balthazar                  Date: 24/11/16 Address: Calvert Hill Surgery, Eastbourne   PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Long Term Absence Name: Giles Williamson Address: Flat E, Happy Snappers Crocodile Training…

Features, Human Resources ,