W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

  Dear Darcus, I am the sales manager of a car dealership. I am married with three kids but I have recently started having an affair with one of the Vauxhall Astras in the showroom. I think my condition is known as mechaphilia but I can honestly say that we are truly happy and are…

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9 Awesome food hacks using everyday items you’ll find in the office

9 Awesome food hacks using everyday items you’ll find in the office

  Offices have a reputation for being sterile places where nothing interesting occurs unless everybody is drunk at the Christmas party. We intend to change all that however. If you use a little imagination and look around you, you’ll notice that your place of work contains everything you’d ever need to set up your own…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not join the SAS?

You’ve just been sacked………why not join the SAS?

  Does the code phrase, ‘p45,’ mean anything to you? We thought it might. As a result of what you considered to be a minor transgression and what your employee handbook clearly states is gross misconduct, you have now joined the ranks of the unemployed. You’ll need to consider your next career move carefully to…

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How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

  We all get to a point in our careers where the 9 to 5 just isn’t cutting it anymore. It may well be that you need to seek a new professional path but 9 times out of 10 that feeling of being jaded exists because you’re overworked, underpaid and could do with a bloody…

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Accident Report Book – Arborist

Accident Report Book – Arborist

  1.    About the person who had the accident: Name: James Green Address: 65 Appleby Grove, Smithfield, Derby Postcode: DE41 7AG Occupation: Head Arborist 2.    About you the person filling in this record: Complete if you did not have the accident: Name: Simon Green Address: 65 Appleby Grove, Smithfield, Derby Postcode: DE41 7AG Occupation: Assistant…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page: Committing Acts of Violence On Staff Members

W1nners’ Club Problem Page: Committing Acts of Violence On Staff Members

  Dear Darcus, I have noticed that recently I have had lots of extremely dark fantasies about hitting members of my team. Whenever an employee comes to ask me a question the first thoguht that pops into my mind is how much I’d like to punch the individual in question on the nose no matter…

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Office Fridge Wars: When stealing a co-worker’s lunch turns nasty

Office Fridge Wars: When stealing a co-worker’s lunch turns nasty

    Lunch time in the workplace is a special point in the day, not least because you’ve probably spent most of the morning looking forward to leaning back in your chair and munching heartily on the sandwich you painstakingly prepared last night whilst reflecting on just how hectic a morning it’s been. As the…

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You’ve just been sacked……why not become a Plastic Surgeon?

You’ve just been sacked……why not become a Plastic Surgeon?

  Now that you’ve been shown the door by your previous employer, it’s time to take stock of the situation and consider a new career. Whilst daytime TV and drinking cans of super strength lager before 11am can be fun, at some point the bills will need to get paid. Getting a reference from your…

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10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

  It’s been four years since you first arrived here and the days just don’t seem to be getting any shorter. Time is still your arch enemy and as each day passes a recurring thought runs through your mind. “When will I get out of here?” True – things aren’t as bad as when you…

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BUSINESS CONTRACTOR AGREEMENT – Construction of a new Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory

BUSINESS CONTRACTOR AGREEMENT – Construction of a new Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory

  Contractor Agreement This agreement is made on the 04/03/2017 between Oompah Loompah Building Supplies {the ‘Contractor’} and Willy Wonka Enterprises {the ‘Company’} The Contractor has entered into an agreement with the Company for the performance of certain works {the ‘Works’}. The works are hereby agreed as follows: Construction of a new Chocolate Room: Everything…

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