CUSTOMER FEEDBACK FORM – Non-League Football Stadium

CUSTOMER FEEDBACK FORM – Non-League Football Stadium

  We are constantly trying to improve the level of service we provide, and ask that you take a minute to tell us how we are doing and what we can do to improve. How happy are you with the job we have just completed?  (1 = delighted – 5 = very unhappy) 1 2…

Features, Human Resources ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Corporate spy in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Corporate spy in the office

  Dear Darcus, One of the employees on my team has started offering to buy me tea every morning and as a result I am convinced that they may be a corporate spy that is either working for a competitor, or they could be working undercover for the security services and informing on me. I…

Features, Problem Page , ,

Prank your work colleagues with a fake voice activated printer sign

Prank your work colleagues with a fake voice activated printer sign

  They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. Did somebody go on holiday leaving you to do all their work as well as your own? Did your boss make you stay late and/or work weekends at a trade conference when your favourite sports team or rock band was in town? Whatever your…

Features, Office Life , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not win the Grand National?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not win the Grand National?

  It’s time to dust yourself down and do something useful with your time. Yes, we know you loved your old job and yes, we know that you didn’t mean to drink quite so much alcohol that lunchtime but unfortunately, due to an oversight on your part you eventually got the sack. The question now…

Features, Unemployed , ,

Find out if your boss is humping the secretary by recording what time they leave at night

Find out if your boss is humping the secretary by recording what time they leave at night

  Your boss clearly doesn’t like you. You constantly get given pointless reports to do and you didn’t even get to take any annual leave in between Christmas and New Year. It’s time to get your revenge! You’re pretty sure the boss is knocking off his/her secretary after hours in the office, but this can’t…

Employed, Features , ,

Final warning for lateness letter – Game of Thrones office chair

Final warning for lateness letter – Game of Thrones office chair

  Date: 29/03/2017   Dear Simon, I refer to our meeting on 22/03/2017. Despite our verbal and written warnings about your timekeeping, there has been no improvement nor have you provided a satisfactory explanation as to why you continue to be late for work. This conduct is unacceptable. We therefore give you this final warning….

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – ‘I want to be a garbage collector!’

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – ‘I want to be a garbage collector!’

  Dear Darcus, I earn £320,000 a year before bonuses, I drive a Maserati and have a holiday home in St. Lucia. My kids both attend one of the country’s most prestigious public schools and whilst I’m extremely proud of my success, I’ve always wanted to be a garbage collector. There’s something about being in…

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The office safari is actually a, ‘thing.’

The office safari is actually a, ‘thing.’

  There has been a backlash of late in offices up and down the length and breadth of the land. As social posting and the sharing of memes gets restricted to the hours when all the proper work should really be getting done, this leaves a large gaping hole at lunchtime that has to be…

Features, Office Life , , , ,

The W1nners’ Club guide to Health and Safety in the workplace

The W1nners’ Club guide to Health and Safety in the workplace

  Legal Disclaimer: The W1nners’ Club is not a safe place to work and neither is anyone that works here particularly healthy….   You have rights goddam it! Compared to the rest of history, working life has never been as safe as it is today.  Unfortunate bodily entanglements with a Spinning Jenny were about as…

Employed, Features , , ,

New client anti money laundering information request

New client anti money laundering information request

  Date: 23/03/2017     Dear Mr. El Chapo, Like many businesses, here at Sproggitt and Sylvester Corporate Investments Ltd. we must comply with Anti Money Laundering Legislation, which is intended to inhibit the activities of terrorists and other criminals. If we fail to perform these duties, we risk prosecution that may lead to imprisonment….

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