Notice of disciplinary meeting – Cement Truck Driver

Notice of disciplinary meeting – Cement Truck Driver

  Date: 01/07/2017   Dear Robert, I am writing to tell you that you are required to attend a disciplinary meeting on Monday at 9am which is to be held in my office. At this meeting the question of disciplinary action against you, in accordance with the Company Disciplinary Procedure, will be considered with regard…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I think I have a crush on Mozart

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I think I have a crush on Mozart

    Dear Darcus, Ever since I started taking piano lessons, I seem to be developing a crush on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Everytime I listen to the amazing music he composed, I can’t help but picture that little powdered wig of his bobbing up and down at a piano as he bangs out his latest…

Features, Problem Page , ,

Decorate your office wall with Marvel comic book characters using post-it notes

Decorate your office wall with Marvel comic book characters using post-it notes

  If it’s true that there is a genuine relationship between productivity and working environment, then maybe it’s time your office got rid of its blank and boring wall paint and injected some life into the place. What better way is there to achieve this than by decorating the walls of your office with pictures…

Features, Office Life , , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a TV newsreader?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a TV newsreader?

The early mornings, the daily commute, the office politics, the annoying colleagues, the hangovers on a Friday – bet you’d do anything to get your old job back wouldn’t you? Whilst this can’t happen due to the unfortunate reality of being given your marching orders by your last employer, you could always look for an…

Features, Unemployed , , ,

How to stay safe from prying eyes at your workplace computer

How to stay safe from prying eyes at your workplace computer

Your workplace computer offers a multitude of ways that enemies in the office can gain access to the parts of your life that you’d rather were kept hidden. It may be that you’ve sent a CV to a prospective employer, or maybe you’re having an extra-marital affair with the hot blonde Essex girl/boy that works…

Employed, Features , ,

Assessment of potential for promotion – Stud farm operative

Assessment of potential for promotion – Stud farm operative

  Name: Sara Mcilroy Job title: Equine Fluffer Department: Ejaculatory Procurement Length of time in post: 2 years Date of appraisal: __24/__06/__2017 Section A Assessment of potential Not fitted at present for further promotion Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years Fitted for promotion Section B Employee’s aspirations…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

  Dear Darcus, I am an IT manager from Portsmouth and recently I keep being overcome by the compulsion to behave like a wolf in the office. If someone needs a new keyboard or mouse it causes me to howl loudly and if the cloud servers need rebooting that also makes me run about on…

Features, Problem Page , ,

How to make a cup of coffee for the smallest colleague in the world

How to make a cup of coffee for the smallest colleague in the world

  Making a cup of coffee for your colleagues is as much a part of work life etiquette as ringing in sick on a Monday morning because you’ve overdone it at the weekend or having a stand up row with somebody that works in accounts. As society recognises the need for greater diversity and inclusiveness…

Features, Office Life , ,

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a professional Golfer?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a professional Golfer?

  Take a minute to remember all the things that you used to do back in the days when you had a job.  You would take a taxi or an Uber home after a night out instead of the night bus. You were a member of a gym that gave out free towels. Buying a…

Features, Unemployed , ,

How to avoid doing any work in the office whilst looking extremely busy

How to avoid doing any work in the office whilst looking extremely busy

  Working life is hard. In the years that pass subsequent to getting your first job after leaving school or college, you will be reduced to a mere number on a balance sheet. The enjoyment of your life will take second place behind the need to put food on the table and clothes on your…

Employed, Features , ,