Investigation Plan – Staircase Manufacturer

Investigation Plan – Staircase Manufacturer

Investigator   S. Jones Terms of reference     How the f*ck this has happened? Provisional time-frame   NOW! Policies and procedures to review and follow Find out who the dickhead is that decided it would be a good idea to…… I’m not sure how to describe it really, just have a look at the…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Scared of nuclear war

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Scared of nuclear war

  Dear Darcus, I’m terrified of a nuclear war breaking out. Every time I watch the news it looks as if we’re only a couple of minutes away from hearing the three minute warning. As a result, I make sure all my staff are equipped with gas masks and radioactiviy suits (all to be deducted…

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9 incredibly morbid Soviet era workplace safety posters

9 incredibly morbid Soviet era workplace safety posters

They’re made out of bloody strong stuff out there in Eastern Europe aren’t they? Despite enduring an unbelievably cold winter climate, a revolution in 1917, Nazi invasion, Stalinist purges, Boris Yeltsin’s dancing and Mikhail Gorbachev’s birthmark, our Russian friends still know how to go about their daily business with a smile on their faces. Here…

Features, Office Life , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not stage your own prison riot?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not stage your own prison riot?

A quick questionnaire if you will: Do you wake up before 8am on a Monday through to Friday? Is your favourite time of the month anywhere between the 26th to the 30th/31st? Do you own a suit that you have never worn to court? Do you know how to use a calculator? Do you have…

Features, Unemployed , ,

10 perks to give staff instead of a salary if your company is going bankrupt

10 perks to give staff instead of a salary if your company is going bankrupt

Staff management is a sublime artform that requires both artistic endeavour and a scientific understanding of the human psyche. You need to be both a councillor and a disciplinarian rolled into one. It is therefore imperative that a good people manager rewards his or her team when they have performed well (or not so well…

Employed, Features , , ,

Business Contractor Agreement – Corner Wall Repair Work at Legoland

Business Contractor Agreement – Corner Wall Repair Work at Legoland

Contractor Agreement This agreement is made on the 23/09/2017 between William Daley Building Repairs and Legoland Theme Park of Legoland, Windsor {the ‘Company’} The Contractor has entered into an agreement with the Company for the performance of certain works {the ‘Works’}. The works are hereby agreed as follows: Fixing of a corner wall to render…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Large text font makes me ill

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Large text font makes me ill

  Dear Darcus, Large text font makes me feel ill. I’m okay with messages that get sent to me via text, but if someone sends me a report via email and I open it up at my desktop, if any of the font is larger than size 14, I start to sweat and feel horribly…

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Are you a workplace wimp or a boardroom bully?

Are you a workplace wimp or a boardroom bully?

Let’s be honest – working in an office can be pretty stressful at times. There are presentations to do in front of colleagues, clients and superiors. There are targets to be met, reports to be done and co-workers’ banter to ignore. The success of your career going forward will depend on how well you’re able…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not terraform Mars?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not terraform Mars?

This unemployment lark isn’t much fun is it? For starters, it can be incredibly embarrassing seeing one of your neighbours in the job centre that you’ve been trying to shag for years and who previously thought you had a decent job. The only way you’ll be able to remedy this situation is if you’re able…

Features, Unemployed , , , ,

How to survive becoming pregnant after a one night stand with a colleague

How to survive becoming pregnant after a one night stand with a colleague

What seemed like a good idea at the time, now brings all that flirting by the water cooler to a sobering reality. It turns out the real reason why you’ve developed a penchant for rum and raisin ice cream and pickles in the last two months is………yes, that’s right – you’re pregnant! To make matters…

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