The W1nners’ Club guide to Health and Safety in the workplace

The W1nners’ Club guide to Health and Safety in the workplace

  Legal Disclaimer: The W1nners’ Club is not a safe place to work and neither is anyone that works here particularly healthy….   You have rights goddam it! Compared to the rest of history, working life has never been as safe as it is today.  Unfortunate bodily entanglements with a Spinning Jenny were about as…

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5 things on your CV that will make employers think you’re a total moron

5 things on your CV that will make employers think you’re a total moron

  Selling yourself on your CV is essential, but it’s important to sell yourself in such a way that you don’t come across as an absolute idiot to prospective employers.   That’s right. We said it. Despite the gasps of admonishment, we think it’s part of the service to let you know why you haven’t…

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How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

  We all get to a point in our careers where the 9 to 5 just isn’t cutting it anymore. It may well be that you need to seek a new professional path but 9 times out of 10 that feeling of being jaded exists because you’re overworked, underpaid and could do with a bloody…

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10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

  It’s been four years since you first arrived here and the days just don’t seem to be getting any shorter. Time is still your arch enemy and as each day passes a recurring thought runs through your mind. “When will I get out of here?” True – things aren’t as bad as when you…

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How to find out valuable office gossip by reconstructing shredded documents

How to find out valuable office gossip by reconstructing shredded documents

  Do you need to find out what a co-worker’s latest wage increase was? Maybe you just want to find out who is likely to get the chop in the upcoming round of company redundancies? Whatever your reason, shredded documents provide an invaluable source of sensitive company information that can be used to your advantage….

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The correct way to behave on a picket line if you are going on strike

The correct way to behave on a picket line if you are going on strike

  As we know all too well from history, staff and senior management don’t always see eye-to-eye in the workplace. Those of you that actually bother to read your employment contracts will know that your terms and conditions are not as simple as turning up on time and doing a decent day’s work for a…

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How to pass your office drug test

How to pass your office drug test

  Workplace drug testing has proliferated in recent years. The companies that tend to force staff to take them usually have a health and safety reason that relates to the goods and services they supply – for example, it’s no good having a gas man that’s high on LSD coming round trying to fix your…

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How to handle a hostage situation if a disgruntled ex-employee hijacks your office

How to handle a hostage situation if a disgruntled ex-employee hijacks your office

  Letting a staff member go is never a happy moment in any manager’s career (depending on who it is being let go of course). Whether it’s a result of redundancies or dismissal – taking away a person’s ability to feed and shelter themselves and their family is not a decision that can ever be…

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How to pass your 3 month probation period in a new job

How to pass your 3 month probation period in a new job

  You’ve done it! You’ve passed the interview. Providence has smiled down on you and a company that is even more desperate to recruit staff than you are for a job, has decided to recruit you into their ranks. Now that you have the job, your next big challenge will be to keep it. We…

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The W1nners’ Club Office Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary

The W1nners’ Club Office Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary

  Everybody knows there are no jobs up north. Britain’s once all-powerful manufacturing industries that coughed out smog onto blackened buildings are a thing of the past. True, places like Manchester and Leeds are doing okay, but the real cash is still to be made by putting your handkerchief on a stick and venturing down…

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