Natural History Museum interested in selling 2 Sisters’ out of date chicken

Natural History Museum interested in selling 2 Sisters’ out of date chicken

  The Natural History Museum has expressed an interest in selling chicken from one of the UK’s largest supermarket suppliers after undercover footage revealed some of the meat was much older than originally thought.   The Guardian and ITV released film showing an occurrence where 2 Sisters workers altered the slaughter date of poultry being…

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Sex for sale at Poundland for a quid

Sex for sale at Poundland for a quid

  Poundland has announced plans to start selling sex for £1 a go.   The new product called Nooky, follows the success of the discount retailer’s £1 bullet vibrator which became a best-seller back in 2016. Poundland’s Head of Cheaply Procured Shorterm Dating, Mr. Pimpson Hoes said, “We’re really aiming to make sex more accessible…

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Monarch Airlines still ahead of Ryanair in customer satisfaction league tables

Monarch Airlines still ahead of Ryanair in customer satisfaction league tables

  Monarch Airlines is still marginally ahead of fierce rival Ryanair in the customer satisfaction league tables despite going into administration and leaving 110,000 passengers stranded overseas.   Efforts are continuing to bring back holidaymakers after the carrier went bust having racked up £60million in losses this year, but the majority of Monarch customers that…

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Jacob Rees-Mogg opens the world’s first anti-abortion, back street abortion clinic

Jacob Rees-Mogg opens the world’s first anti-abortion, back street abortion clinic

  Jacob Rees-Mogg has just announced plans to open the world’s first anti abortion, abortion clinic The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The Tory MP for Somerset is a devout catholic who recently said he was against abortion, but nevertheless has decided to open a backstreet abortion clinic on the grounds that religious ideology is…

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Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross leave rude messages on Andrew Sachs’ voicemail

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross leave rude messages on Andrew Sachs’ voicemail

Have you ever done something at work that was so reprehensible it sparked over 37,000 complaints to the BBC and outrage in the national press? If you have, you’re not alone. Comedian Russell Brand and TV presenter Jonathan Ross made prank calls to much-loved actor Andrew Sachs’ voicemail that led to controversy back in October…

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Investigation Plan – Staircase Manufacturer

Investigation Plan – Staircase Manufacturer

Investigator   S. Jones Terms of reference     How the f*ck this has happened? Provisional time-frame   NOW! Policies and procedures to review and follow Find out who the dickhead is that decided it would be a good idea to…… I’m not sure how to describe it really, just have a look at the…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Scared of nuclear war

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Scared of nuclear war

  Dear Darcus, I’m terrified of a nuclear war breaking out. Every time I watch the news it looks as if we’re only a couple of minutes away from hearing the three minute warning. As a result, I make sure all my staff are equipped with gas masks and radioactiviy suits (all to be deducted…

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9 incredibly morbid Soviet era workplace safety posters

9 incredibly morbid Soviet era workplace safety posters

They’re made out of bloody strong stuff out there in Eastern Europe aren’t they? Despite enduring an unbelievably cold winter climate, a revolution in 1917, Nazi invasion, Stalinist purges, Boris Yeltsin’s dancing and Mikhail Gorbachev’s birthmark, our Russian friends still know how to go about their daily business with a smile on their faces. Here…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not stage your own prison riot?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not stage your own prison riot?

A quick questionnaire if you will: Do you wake up before 8am on a Monday through to Friday? Is your favourite time of the month anywhere between the 26th to the 30th/31st? Do you own a suit that you have never worn to court? Do you know how to use a calculator? Do you have…

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