W1nners’ Club Problem Page – CRM System abuse

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – CRM System abuse

  Dear Darcus, A member of staff thought it would be hilarious to alter some customer details on the company CRM system. The customer in question subsequently received an invoice for £18,450 +vat, addressed to a, “Mr Moody c*nt with a ridiculous name.” Is there any course of action to take besides sacking the mindless…

Features, Problem Page ,

You’ve just been sacked……..Why not become a Ballet Dancer?

You’ve just been sacked……..Why not become a Ballet Dancer?

  Becoming a professional ballet dancer requires a hell of a lot more than simply sticking on a tutu and trying to stand on tip toe. The art form was invented during the Renaissance period in Italy so is therefore a million miles from the last job you had working in the credit control department…

Features, Unemployed ,

5 ways to tell if one of your colleagues has been out all night

5 ways to tell if one of your colleagues has been out all night

  You’re waiting for a member of your team to get in before you can start the morning meeting. It’s 08:59am and your line manager is already smacking his lips in anticipation of being bought a cup of tea by way of an apology from your late colleague. The individual in question, through a record…

Employed, Features , ,

Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

  Sports Direct have been asked to explain why they secretly filmed staff watching a hilarious video of members of parliament being secretly filmed during their lunch break.   A group of parliamentarians from the House of Commons Business Committee were covertly recorded having a meeting at the sports retailer’s Shirebrook facility in Derbyshire after…

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Letter of enquiry to GP – Police Dog Trainer

Letter of enquiry to GP – Police Dog Trainer

  DEAR DOCTOR, PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Prolonged Sick Leave Name: PC Dave Smith Address: 35 Cherry Tree Lane, Barking, Essex Dear Sir/Madam, To administer Statutory Sick Pay and the organisation’s sick pay scheme as well as planning the work schedule in…

Features, Human Resources

Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

  The makers of Toblerone made the bold claim yesterday that empty space is the new chocolate.   The gaps between the chocolate bar’s triangular segments have been widened recently as manufacturers claim the popular snack was never really about chocolate in the first place. Mondelez International’s Head of Marketing Mrs. Honey Almond said, “The…

News ,

McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

  McDonalds is suing the Sistine Chapel for using the approximate shape of a McFlurry tub in the design for its main dome.   After several high profile spats with the Italian authorities this year over whether the fast food chain is an appropriate vendor to trade in the historic plazas of Florence and The…

News , ,

Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

  Investors and businesses are preparing for share prices to fall lower than the future social status of illegal immigrant Mexicans if Donald Trump wins the US election.   A victory by Trump is expected to send shares into freefall and most of the major trading banks will have staff on high alert this evening…

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Assessment of potential for promotion – Beverage Salesman

Assessment of potential for promotion – Beverage Salesman

    Name: Iain Williams Job title: Beverage Salesman Department: Outdoor Promotions Length of time in post: 1 week Date of appraisal: __07/__11/__16 Section A – Assessment of potential Not fitted at present for further promotion Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years Fitted for promotion Section B…

Features, Human Resources ,

UK exchange rate to be determined by the size of fish fingers

UK exchange rate to be determined by the size of fish fingers

  The UK’s currency exchange rate is set to be determined by the size of fish fingers because a significant proportion of the nation’s favourite tea time snack is charged in dollars.   The recent threat by Birds Eye to start offering customers pre-fried cod fillet fish fingers in packs of 10 for the price…

News ,