W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dodgy Sales Team

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dodgy Sales Team

  Dear Darcus, I’ve just noticed my sales team have been hitting their bonuses for the last 3 quarters in succession – does this mean they are good at their jobs, or fraudulently swindling clients?   Dear Reader, Whilst I’m sure your company has a robust recruitment policy and you take all the necessary due…

Features, Problem Page , ,

You’ve just been sacked………why not become the next Heavyweight Champion of the World?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become the next Heavyweight Champion of the World?

  So, you have your P45 held proudly in hand after your last employer showed you the door and now you’re wondering what to do next in your career. Maybe your last job didn’t work out because your boss was a total idiot? Or maybe you simply needed to make a change in your working…

Features, Unemployed , ,

How to tell if a supplier has sent you a letter bomb in the post

How to tell if a supplier has sent you a letter bomb in the post

  At certain points in your working life you are going to have to deal with suppliers that you don’t see eye-to-eye with. Disagreements can arise in a myriad of ways. A failed negotiation where one of you has insulted a member of the others’ family is one such common example. Your supplier may just…

Employed, Features ,

Aldi claims staff are now too wealthy to ever shop at Lidl again

Aldi claims staff are now too wealthy to ever shop at Lidl again

  Aldi claims that by raising the pay of staff to £8.53 per hour, employees are now far too wealthy to be seen shopping in Lidl ever again.   Staff at the discount store will enjoy their new affluence as of February, when the rate for those employed at the company’s London stores will also…

News

Today referred to as, ‘Pleb Thursday,’ by FTSE 100 Fat Cats

Today referred to as, ‘Pleb Thursday,’ by FTSE 100 Fat Cats

  Today is officially known as, ‘Pleb Thursday,’ after FTSE 100 Chief Executives hit their first economic performance target of the year by earning more than the national average wage.   Pleb Thursday has historically always been the day after, ‘Fat Cat Wednesday,’ and is so called because it’s the first point in the year…

News ,

Tesco outrages bearded women by slashing the price of razors

Tesco outrages bearded women by slashing the price of razors

  Tesco has caused outrage among women with beards after cutting the price of female razors.   In a move intended to redress the disparity in price between male razors which cost £1 for a pack of ten, the price of female packs were slashed from £1 to 50p for a pack of five. Head…

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Virgin Trains to place life jackets under seats in a bid to compete with airlines

Virgin Trains to place life jackets under seats in a bid to compete with airlines

  Virgin Trains will place life jackets under the seats on their locomotives in a bid to take on airlines for a share of the lucrative London to Edinburgh route as passenger numbers hit one million for the first time ever.   Despite never actually taking off from the ground in any way, shape or…

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Upper classes ecstatic about post-brexit increase in the price of champagne

Upper classes ecstatic about post-brexit increase in the price of champagne

  Upper class drinkers rejoiced upon hearing that the price of Champagne will rise as a result of Brexit.   Despite losing their last key class identifier since the UK abolished its national pastime of going over to hot countries and shooting dark skinned people, many in society’s higher echelons feel this latest revelation presents…

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Customer Feedback Form – Plumbing Work

Customer Feedback Form – Plumbing Work

  We are constantly trying to improve the level of service we provide, and ask that you take a minute to tell us how we are doing and what we can do to improve. How happy are you with the job we have just completed?  (1 = delighted – 5 = very unhappy) 1 2…

Features, Human Resources ,

Every day to be given an extra adjective to encourage consumer spending

Every day to be given an extra adjective to encourage consumer spending

  The government is considering adding an extra adjective to every day that shops are open in a bid to encourage consumer spending.   Despite not really knowing why Black Friday is called Black Friday, or indeed why Cyber Monday has the word, ‘cyber,’ in its name, consumers nevertheless can’t seem to resist brandishing their…

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