Goldman Sachs slowly coming round to the idea $50bn is actually quite a lot of money

Goldman Sachs slowly coming round to the idea $50bn is actually quite a lot of money

  Goldman Sachs are slowly coming round to the idea that $50bn is actually quite a lot of money and tentatively agree you can’t simply say a company is worth that amount without it at least selling a few units of whatever it is they supply first.   The W1nners’ Club has been party to…

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Nissan claims, “Christianity will fade and go, we’re bigger than jesus now!”

Nissan claims, “Christianity will fade and go, we’re bigger than jesus now!”

  Nissan have made the bold claim they are more popular than Christianity in a shameless show of pre-brexit bravado.   The Japanese car manufacturer has recently been holding court with top officials including the Prime Minister as the government attempts to ensure the UK doesn’t lose production of its Bluebird model to an EU…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Drugs in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Drugs in the office

  Dear Darcus, A member of staff has turned up to work with pupils the size of black holes, their jaw is set hard at an unnatural angle and they are continually sniffing loudly as if they have the bubonic plague. What is the appropriate course of action to take?   Dear Reader, Staff turning…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become an investment banker?

  So – you’ve seen the movie Wall St. and wholeheartedly agree with the following: ‘greed is good,’ ‘Lunch is for wimps,’ ‘Never do cocaine straight after breakfast,’ etc. If you like the idea of spending more on a bar bill than most people spend on their first home and if your favourite movie scene…

Features, Unemployed

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

3 Ways to uncover your colleague’s computer password

In the digital era, most sensitive information is stored on computers. Should you find yourself embroiled in an office rivalry with one of your colleagues, perhaps you are going for the same internal promotion for example – you can give yourself a head start on the competition by obtaining their password and rooting around in their…

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Outrage in the BDSM community as BT phone boxes are replaced by Wi-Fi kiosks

Outrage in the BDSM community as BT phone boxes are replaced by Wi-Fi kiosks

  Britain’s BDSM community have been whipped into a frenzy as BT announce they will be removing the traditional red phone box from streets and replacing them with hi-tech wi-fi kiosks.   The new kiosks will provide Ultra-fast wi-fi, free calls and charging facilities for mobile phones but crucially, there will be nowhere on the…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Staff member’s boob job

Dear Darcus, A staff member recently had a boob job and subsequently appeared on a pornographic calendar that is currently being passed around the office quicker than a mini Ebola pandemic. What is the best way to respond?   Dear reader, Unfortunately in working life, we sometimes make mistakes. When that fresh faced, enthusiastic young…

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You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

You’ve just been sacked……….why not become UK Prime Minister?

  Politics is a very dirty game indeed. Your best friend can be your worst enemy as hugs and kisses are followed by a stab in the back from your trusted ally. It is also however, an industry like no other. Imagine having the power to decide what time the pubs should close, or how…

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The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

The symptoms of a post-work drinks hangover and how to keep them at bay

One of the great benefits of working in an office environment is the vibrant social life that accompanies it. Office life is littered with opportunities to bond with colleagues over drinks after work. Birthdays, Christmas or somebody leaving – sometimes a tough day’s graft is all that is required to inspire the fateful words, “fancy…

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Mattel rolls out a different Barbie Doll for every audience imaginable

Mattel rolls out a different Barbie Doll for every audience imaginable

  Toy manufacturer Mattel has seen its share price soar after announcing plans to produce Barbie dolls that are relevant to every conceivable social group.   The launch of the new range follows two years of declining sales as little girls turn to dressing up as clowns and chasing terrified members of the public instead….

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