Assessment of potential for promotion – Target Holder

Assessment of potential for promotion – Target Holder

Name: Simon  Li Job title: Target Holder Department: North Korean Army Cadet Firearms Training School Length of time in post: 3 full magazines and a change of underwear Date of appraisal: __20/__11/__16 Section A: Assessment of potential  Not fitted at present for further promotion  Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the…

Features, Human Resources , ,

Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

  Tesco has unveiled a radical plan to develop its own version of the run down, socially deprived council estate to try and generate extra funds.   The largest supermarket brand in the UK will build hundreds of high rise flats on top of the roofs of many of its stores and sprawling car parks…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Office brawl

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Office brawl

  Dear Darcus, A full scale office brawl has erupted between two staff members. Would it be sensible to break it up, or should I let them slug it out and smash ten piles of crap out of each other?   Dear Reader, In all honesty you will need to use your managerial experience to make…

Features, Problem Page ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Fascist Dictator?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Fascist Dictator?

Unemployment throws up many challenges so you need to carefully consider what your next move will be if you’ve been unfortunate enough to get the boot from your old job. Along with suffering the humiliation of having to drink cans of Frosty Jack’s cider instead of your usual pints of Stella every day, it’s also…

Features, Unemployed ,

10 things to do on your daily commute to make the journey more bearable

10 things to do on your daily commute to make the journey more bearable

  Alongside the extortionate cost of having to travel between towns or across a large city, commuting provides other delights such as a lack of adequate seating on trains and buses, people talking loudly on their mobile phones about what they had for dinner last night and the sheer monotony of the journey. Fear not…

Employed, Features , , ,

Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

  LinkedIn is no longer available in Russia after Vladimir Putin had his account suspended for being in breach of the website’s terms and conditions.   The Russian President had reportedly spent a whole afternoon choosing the right photo for his profile picture and eventually settled on one of him wearing Speedos whilst riding a…

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Camelot will purchase a lottery ticket to try and make up lost revenue

Camelot will purchase a lottery ticket to try and make up lost revenue

  Camelot announced it will be purchasing a lottery ticket this week in an effort to win back some much needed cash as ticket sales continue to fall.   The group has been running the National Lottery since 1994 and recently recorded a 6.3% fall in sales to £3.39 billion. Camelots’ Chief Executive Mr. Jack…

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The latest Apple product has less processing power than a ZX Spectrum 48k

The latest Apple product has less processing power than a ZX Spectrum 48k

  Apple appear to have completely lost the plot with their latest product launch that is targeted at people who have no desire to access the web, play games, stream media, store files, or do anything that you would ever need a computer for.   The tech giant’s latest offering even comes with its own…

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FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

  Company boards should justify hefty Chief Executive pay rises by forcing bosses to do a bush tucker trial in front of staff at the annual Christmas party according to business experts.   The continuing increases in pay for top executives despite often lacklustre performance has incited calls for a rethink in the way senior…

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Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

  Middle Class shoppers are replacing their weekly shopping trips to Marks and Spencer with a visit to the local food bank as shelves in the store start to resemble those from soviet-era Russia.   The retailer’s suppliers have been pulling out in their droves as the battle rages on about whether the word Brexit…

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