Post-Brexit Sterling to resemble Battle Cat from He-Man

Post-Brexit Sterling to resemble Battle Cat from He-Man

      The Bank of America predicts the post-Brexit Pound will stop cowering in the corner like a timid kitten to undergo a miraculous transformation like Cringer from He-Man.   Despite being the foreign exchange equivalent of a mangy moggy that has been abandoned by its owners and left to fend for itself in…

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Deutsche Bank takes out full page newspaper adverts to apologise for getting caught

Deutsche Bank takes out full page newspaper adverts to apologise for getting caught

  Deutsche Bank has apologised to the German people for getting caught mis-selling toxic sub-prime mortgage securities and allowing dodgy Russians to use it as a money laundering service.   The largest bank in Germany purchased a full page advert in 10 of the country’s largest circulating newspaper titles – although it’s unclear whether the…

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Manual Handling Risk Assessment checklist – Hod Carrier

Manual Handling Risk Assessment checklist – Hod Carrier

  This general health and safety checklist is not exhaustive – and is provided as a general guide to assess the arrangements required. Issue: Comments: Is the worker new to the task? □  Yes  □  No The worker has been a hod carrier for a number of years although he has only recently been moved…

Features, Human Resources , , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Finding Money in the Office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Finding Money in the Office

  Dear Darcus, I have just found a five pound note on the floor next to one of my team members’ desks. I understand the money could belong to the team member that sits there, but it may also have been dropped by someone else. How do I decide who to give the fiver to?…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not become a secret agent?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a secret agent?

  Being out of work means you’ll now have lots of time on your hands to develop new skills with a view to starting a new career. Whatever you were dismissed from your previous job for doing – be it constant lateness, insubordination, sexual harassment or just plain old laziness – remember that you don’t…

Features, Unemployed , ,

How to pass your office drug test

How to pass your office drug test

  Workplace drug testing has proliferated in recent years. The companies that tend to force staff to take them usually have a health and safety reason that relates to the goods and services they supply – for example, it’s no good having a gas man that’s high on LSD coming round trying to fix your…

Employed, Features ,

M&Ms turn down the chance to be the candy featured in E.T.

M&Ms turn down the chance to be the candy featured in E.T.

  One of the better known tales from the world of business blunders is the infamous story of the time M&Ms turned down a golden opportunity to be the treat that was used to lure E.T. out from his hiding place and into our hearts.   Steven Spielberg’s 1982 blockbuster earned a reputed $792 million…

Business Blunders , , ,

Letter of enquiry regarding likely cause of absence – Tree Surgeon

Letter of enquiry regarding likely cause of absence – Tree Surgeon

  Doctor’s name: Dr. Bryan Kaplinsky                     Date 02/02/2017 Address: Bellfield Hill Surgery, Bellfield Hill, Blackmore, Somerset PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Length of absence Name: Thomas Simpleton To administer Statutory Sick Pay, and the Company’s sick pay scheme, and to plan the…

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Elisha Gray misses out on owning the telephone patent by two hours

Elisha Gray misses out on owning the telephone patent by two hours

  Everybody knows the telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, but what a lot of people don’t know is that someone else also had a design for a slightly different version but wasn’t able to register it speedily enough.   The gentleman’s name in question was a certain Elisha Gray. He was born in…

Business Blunders , , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Compassionate Leave

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Compassionate Leave

  Dear Darcus, One of my team has just sent me an email asking for compassionate leave because their pet hamster died this morning. Apparently the hamster got electrocuted when it broke free from its cage before attempting to nibble the wire on the satellite TV box in the team member’s front room. The hamster…

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