Uber app controls your mind and makes you hail cabs you don’t need

Uber app controls your mind and makes you hail cabs you don’t need

  Privacy conscious users of Uber have raised concerns over the latest update that allows the app to take control of your mind and makes you hail cabs for journeys that should normally take 5 minutes on foot.   Previously, Uber would only follow a user’s GPS signal when the app was open on a…

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Channel 4 issues black biros to staff in a bid to improve diversity

Channel 4 issues black biros to staff in a bid to improve diversity

  Channel 4 announced it would be issuing black biros to staff in a bid to make itself more reflective of the wider community.   The broadcaster has faced criticism recently after it emerged the only thing in the media company’s office that has so much as a slight hue of shade about it is…

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Ryanair doing package holidays makes Club 18-30s resemble a gap year in Provence

Ryanair doing package holidays makes Club 18-30s resemble a gap year in Provence

  Low cost airline operator Ryanair announced the launch of a new package holiday service that seeks to undercut existing tour operators by offering even cheaper ways for young Brits to get into trouble on the continent through excessive binge drinking.   The new venture called Ryanair Holidays, will take what’s left of UK holidaymakers’…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Farting in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Farting in the office

  Dear Darcus, Somebody in the office repeatedly breaks wind, the stench of which has the equivalent effect of nerve gas on other members of staff in the vicinity. This is obviously a major disruption to productivity. How do I find out who the flatulent offender is?   Dear Reader, Room refragrancing courtesy of an…

Problem Page ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Superstar DJ?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Superstar DJ?

  Unfortunately you have once again fallen foul of workplace disciplinary procedures and unemployment – rather than being a word the government uses to describe a segment of the population that is currently out of work, now refers to you. All is not lost however, as new opportunities exist around the corner. Have you ever thought…

Features, Unemployed ,

What does the fragrance you wear into work every day tell your colleagues about you?

What does the fragrance you wear into work every day tell your colleagues about you?

Smell is one of the most important senses in the animal kingdom and humans being animals as well, albeit with slightly less hair (in most cases) and a marginally higher capacity to reason – also use smell as a fundamental way of interacting with each other. The way we smell establishes our personal brand. It…

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Tofu World wins the contract to manufacture Britain’s new fiver

Tofu World wins the contract to manufacture Britain’s new fiver

  Vegan street food restaurant chain Tofu World recently announced it has won the contract to manufacture Britain’s new fiver.   The use of animal fat in the current £5 note has forced the Bank of England to seek an alternative supplier after a petition was raised expressing anger at the use of animal products…

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Britvic intensifies the war on sugar with a new flavourless, colourless soft drink

Britvic intensifies the war on sugar with a new flavourless, colourless soft drink

  Despite being an outspoken critic of plans to tax sugary drinks in the UK and Ireland, Britvic has finally bottled it and announced the launch of its own sugar (tax) free soft drink.   The company behind a whole host of fizzy drinks such as Pepsi, 7up and Tango, finally opened the can on…

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Letter of enquiry to GP regarding likely cause of absence – Punt Gun Assistant

Letter of enquiry to GP regarding likely cause of absence – Punt Gun Assistant

Doctor’s name: Dr Jeremiah Josephs                   Date: 30/11/1851 Address: 26 Harley Street, London Postcode: W1G 0EB PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Suspected Deafness Name: Winston Chomeley-Warner Address: 65 Baker Street, London To administer Statutory Sick Pay, and the Company’s sick pay scheme, and to…

Features, Human Resources ,

Ikea pledges to keep a lid on prices if customers supply their own furniture

Ikea pledges to keep a lid on prices if customers supply their own furniture

  Ikea has pledged to keep its prices low in light of an increase in the cost of imported goods – as long as customers agree to supply their own furniture going forward.   The Swedish retailer, famous for making averagely priced homes appear somewhere approaching respectable on the inside despite having a pebble dash…

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