“Okay – we lied!” says Unilever to people that still can’t believe it’s not butter

“Okay – we lied!” says Unilever to people that still can’t believe it’s not butter

  Unilever admits that people who knew it wasn’t butter all along were in fact correct and margarine is nothing more than the butter equivalent of those fake Tag Heuer watches you can buy in holiday destinations like Magaluf.   The Anglo-Dutch consumer goods giant said that its margarine line is being considered for sale…

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Monopoly replaces out of date wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex

Monopoly replaces out of date wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex

  Hasbro has announced its intention to modernise the Monopoly game by replacing its outdated wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex.   The gaming giant says that despite not having existed on planet earth for over 70 million years, dinosaurs are still a much more relevant symbol of modernity than the anachronistic wheelbarrow. Hasbro’s Head…

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Proposed disciplinary action – Electronic Road Sign Controller

Proposed disciplinary action – Electronic Road Sign Controller

  Date 17/03/2017   Dear Paul, I am writing to tell you that The Highways Agency is considering dismissing or taking disciplinary action against you. This action is being considered with regard to the following circumstances: This morning you reset the text on the road sign nearest to junction 25 of the M62 to contain…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Dating a Colleague

  Dear Darcus, I am the sales manager of a car dealership. I am married with three kids but I have recently started having an affair with one of the Vauxhall Astras in the showroom. I think my condition is known as mechaphilia but I can honestly say that we are truly happy and are…

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9 Awesome food hacks using everyday items you’ll find in the office

9 Awesome food hacks using everyday items you’ll find in the office

  Offices have a reputation for being sterile places where nothing interesting occurs unless everybody is drunk at the Christmas party. We intend to change all that however. If you use a little imagination and look around you, you’ll notice that your place of work contains everything you’d ever need to set up your own…

Features, Office Life ,

You’ve just been sacked………why not join the SAS?

You’ve just been sacked………why not join the SAS?

  Does the code phrase, ‘p45,’ mean anything to you? We thought it might. As a result of what you considered to be a minor transgression and what your employee handbook clearly states is gross misconduct, you have now joined the ranks of the unemployed. You’ll need to consider your next career move carefully to…

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How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

How to get paid off enough money from your employer to go travelling

  We all get to a point in our careers where the 9 to 5 just isn’t cutting it anymore. It may well be that you need to seek a new professional path but 9 times out of 10 that feeling of being jaded exists because you’re overworked, underpaid and could do with a bloody…

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ABC passes up the opportunity to broadcast The Cosby Show

ABC passes up the opportunity to broadcast The Cosby Show

  The Cosby Show aired for eight seasons on NBC from September 20, 1984 until April 30, 1992. The show focuses on the exploits of the Huxtable family, a well-to-do African-American family living in Brooklyn, New York.   The show was TV’s biggest hit in the 1980s and it single-handedly revived the sitcom genre and…

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Ford says road rage is bad enough on the ground let alone 200 feet up in the air

Ford says road rage is bad enough on the ground let alone 200 feet up in the air

Ford have ruled out investing in the development of flying cars in the short term because road rage would be infinitely worse 200 feet in the air than it is on the ground.   The automaker was asked if they had any plans to develop their own flying car at the SXSW conference in Austin,…

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Waitrose jam to replace interest rates as a way of controlling inflation

Waitrose jam to replace interest rates as a way of controlling inflation

  Waitrose jam will be used to control inflation in the economy now that the food retailer’s empty jars are worth more than the ones that contain jam inside.   The Bank of England will initially begin spreading Bonne Maman Strawberry Conserve onto commercial properties in the London area to control the extortionate price rises…

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